Tuesday, September 04, 2007 Currently Listening I Want You to Want Me By Letters to Cleo see related so today was my frist day in college : ) it was pretty good. well it was frustrating... i was told that my class time was moved just for today. i didnt know that the room number changed too : S. so i went to the room that was written on my schedual which ended up being a marketing class. so i went up to the human services office [cuz my course is in human services] and asked them. the woman who i talked to first said she'd go talk to the co-ordinator, well she never came back so i waited in this long ass line to talk to a secretary. then she talked to me like i was some moronic idiot when I told her my situation she pretty much told me that it wasn't written on my schedual [duh! i knew that], then one of my other professors came out and told me that the class was in F2002. so i go down there, which is another floor in another building. so once i get to this classroom it turns out to be a computer lab, and you ned your student card for entry. so i'm looking for it and someone already coming in just swipes hers and lets me in. so once i'm in, I realize that I'm in the wrong room, but I ask "was there a class in here?" and the chick was fucked out of her tree cuz she's like "umm no, this is a special computer room for people with this special card" and held up her student card. I'm thinkin "ok ur dinked, i have one" but whatever. So i get really worried and go back up to the Human Services office and talk to someone else. I tell her the same situation and tell her that I was given the wrong room. So she talks to someone else who actually phones the co-ordinator. SO it turns out it was in T2002 so I go and find that room. Thankfully I found it, and I didn't seem to be too late in the discussion going on because she was just answering questions and stuff, but I was 40 minutes late lol so after class i went to Tim Hortons and grabbed a well deserved coffee lol. then i came back to the house and chilled. I'm going to bed very soon, because i have a class at 8 and i just feel shitty. oh yeah as for the living experience...there has already been one party which 3 of my roommates threw so i wasnt really interested and they broke 80% of the lease! but whatev..I've been invited to quite a few parties already. i went to one, cuz the other times i'm busy...but yeah i got invited to one tonight, but i wont drink on a school night. its a friday activity : ) lol anyway. bed time. 9:33 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Thursday, August 30, 2007 Currently Listening From Yesterday By 30 Seconds to Mars see related long time no write lol. so i finally moved to London. I moved on Saturday [in the rain!] but it was ok, i was really sad when it came down to the part when my dad and sister were gonna leave. But the my dad told Carly that she should stay the night so she did and I was so happy. : ) so we unpacked and tried to get my internet running, which was frustrating and didnt work. We finished unpacking on Sunday and then my dad took us out for din din. We decided that Car;y would come on Wednesday for the rest of the week. When they dropped me off, i cried. So I just watched a movie and fell asleep. Monday rolled around and I finally met Kaley, so I hung out wtih her and Sammi all day. Then that night we had a bunch of ppl over and our neighbours invited us to a party, but i wasn't in the mood to drink on a monday night. So I went up to my room, determined to get my internet working. I couple clicks here and there and I had internet, I almost fainted lmao. Then on Tuesday, I talked to Carly and our dad decided to drop her off then instead on on wednesday : ) so since then we've been chillin. Our neighbours keep inviting us to stuff, so we went to the unit behind us and watch a pretty intense beer pong game lol, had a beer and decided to go find Little Ceasar's, while we were walking down Dundas we saw a guy steal some kid's bike. We got so scared we just walked back to the house and chilled and watched some TV. and thats kinda it lmfao...yupp... 11:34 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Tuesday, July 24, 2007 Well then, where to start?? I'm back in Paris for another 2 weeks...well week now cuz my summer school course in burlington got cancelled. SO I'm doing it at North Park. I feel really stupid too, we're not handing work in, it's just tests and I'm not a test person so my mark is either failing of just passing and thats not fair, but whatever. I've been talking to one of my new roommates and she's really...happy lol but she's cool, the other one's have added me to Facebook and I've sent messages to them so we'll see where that goes. It's really relieving to get to know them beforehand too. umm I'm at my mom's right now and I'm all alone :'( my mom and Sean went out for dinner at their friend's house so I said I'd be fine here, which I am but I'm pissed because right before they left my mom was tlaking to me. Sean wanted to leave and she told him that she wanted to spend some time with me. then I hear "well I wanna go now, so hurry up!" what the fuck is that?? I'm spending time with my mother, something he never does. FUCK! but yeah. I feel shitty. and I have to think of a good lie to tell my aunt because she thinks I'm hanging out with mom, I'll probably just say they left at 7. It wont be that bad. Things there are pretty rough right now too cuz their dog Koko has bone cancer :'( I love that dog so much so it breaks my heart, but he's old and he's lived a full life so it's not like he's only a couple years old. So everyone there is just like mopy and stuff, I can't be like that, I've lived like that before and you feel even worse... 6:23 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Thursday, July 12, 2007 Currently Listening Three Days Grace By Three Days Grace Home see related so i've been going through all my posts ( i was THAT bored) and I noticed that I mention Steve A LOT. the time when he said he "cheated" on me is hilarious because at that time i had no idea we even decided to have a long distance relationship. It's so funny, cuz last year when I saw him I brought that up and it was just so funny. Whatever though. Yeah some of those posts are pretty pathetic...am I still like that? cuz i hope not, like am I this small pathetic person who gets upset over the stupidest things?? I know I did before, but i dont feel that i do thats now...i dont know.... that's it lol 6:47 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it so it's been a while since i made an actual post... things since then have gone ok. my check got recieved and stuff so im fine on that aspect. as for my vow not to do anything with Steve while in Port Elgin, well that didn't go as planned at all. Not that it's shocking, but hey no one's perfect....i did some mad drinkin and drank 3/4 of a 26er of Green Sour Puss. omg i <33 it so much now lol I wanna try the Raspberry one, see which one i like better. ummm anyway. my sumer school program got cancelled here so I'm coming back to Brantford and I'm doing it there. yayy!! lol...umm thats it at the moment.? 2:43 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Friday, July 06, 2007 I just dont get it... 4:34 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Thursday, July 05, 2007 Currently Listening Them VS. You VS. Me By Finger Eleven see related I'm having a melt down. My dad's check hasnt arrived at Fanshawe yet and I mailed it last saturday. It's due today. FUCK. i dont know what to do, there really isnt anything for me TO do....I dont wanna work for a year and then get my shot to go to college. What the hell is this, do I not deserve to go to college? I realize I should/ could have worked harder, but I still got in and I want to do everything I can to be a DSW. I'm not even in the course yet and I'm already dedicated like fuck! Well I can at least TRY (being the opperative word) to have a relaxing weekend. My dad's doing sand castles for "Sand Man" in Port Elgin this weekend so he's bringing Me and Carly with him . Carly HAD to tell Steve so now he's telling her he wants to do stuff with me and her...haha no. I promised m dad that I would ''behave'' and I want pleasant Port Elgin experience without any drama. and that's just what i plan to do. I'll probably chat with steve, but nothing else. He's only 16 :-S stupid on my part last year but hey we're not all perfect. But now that I've be pushed so far over the edge I'll flip on him if he tries anything and then he'll be afraid of me. Anyway...till next time 12:47 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Thursday, June 28, 2007 Currently Listening Thornography By Cradle of Filth see related This is my last day in Brantford, I'm really sad about the while thing...but it's the way it has to be right?? I've never lived at my dad's so it shouldn't be tat bad....umm not much left to say. I'll miss everyone and I'll come back to visit :) It's so weird though....I'm done highschool...I'm going to college, my life is moving further ahead so fast I'm not sure I'm ready yet..I'll have to manage right? 4:01 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Monday, June 04, 2007 Currently Reading Twilight's Child By V. C. Andrews see related So, Thompo got hit by a car! Karma! lol i just thought I'd share that. I'm not in the best mood today. I don't know what it is. I think it's cuz I'm so close the the end of this stage in my life and I don't want it to end yet. I've been apartment hunting for a week now and I've found some really good ones so I hope that I get the one that I really want which is called Fanshawe House. I have an info session on Thursday so i'm going to see it then. I'm pretty excited =]=]=]=]=]=]=]. There is so much that has to be done between now and the last week of August though. omg :( lol....but I'll get what i can done. 1:09 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Wednesday, May 30, 2007 Have you ever wanted someone so bad I just decided to post my favourite Def Leppard song =] Here I am, Im in the wrong bed again Its a game I just cant win There you are breathin soft on my skin, yeah Still you wont let me in So come on Why save your kisses for a rainy day Baby let the moment take your heart away Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah Have you ever wanted someone you just couldnt have Did you ever try so hard that your world just fell apart Have you ever needed someone so bad And youre the girl I gotta have I gotta have you baby, yeah There you go, midnight promises again, yeah But theyre broken by the dawn You wanna go further, faster everyday, baby But in the morning youll be gone And Im alone Why save your kisses for a rainy day Baby let the moment take your heart away Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah Have you ever wanted someone you just couldnt have Did you ever try so hard that your world just fell apart Have you ever needed someone so bad Every dream I dream is like Some kinda rash n reckless scene To give out such crazy love You must be some kinda drug And if my time dont ever come For me youre still the one Damned if I dont, damned if I do I gotta get a fix on you Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah Have you ever wanted someone you just couldnt have Did you ever try so hard that your world just fell apart Have you ever needed someone so bad, so bad Have you ever wanted someone, have you ever wanted someone, yeah Did you ever try so hard that your wourld just fell apart Have you ever needed someone so bad And youre the girl I gotta have I gotta have you baby, yeah Its a game I just cant win, oh Have you ever needed someone so bad, yeah Have you ever wanted someone Have you ever wanted someone, you just couldnt have Did you ever tried so hard, yeah 3:08 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Wednesday, May 30, 2007 Currently Listening 4Ever By The Veronicas see related I saw Joey yesterday, seeing him just makes me so upset because it gets me thinking about how close we used to be. He's so different now, i'm I'm willing to bet I'm different to him too ya know? Then I talked to Brock last night and he basically wanted to brag about all these girls he's meeting and shit. So I'm assuming he wanted me to feel like I can't get better than him. I don't know. Then I talked to Paulo and he told me that he wants like a marriage or something. He's 19 btw who the hell says that when they're not even in a relationship?? i know that Thompo had said something like that to me when I first met him but he said he wanted a relationship that could progress to that. i dunno guys are getting so fucking complicated its so hard to follow them. Speaking of Thompo, he's the only person who I didn't happen to see, call or talk to yesterday. One of those days will come though, they always do. God I hate being single, but now there's no point in even trying to get into a relationship because I'm moving in June and that's less than a month away. I basically have a month left here and that's not long enough. I'm not ready to say good bye to everyone. Even when I go to London, I'm not ready yet. When the time comes I'll have to be ready right? lol but ya. I'm swimming when i get in. its so frikkin hot I am dying!!! 2:58 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Monday, May 28, 2007 short and sweet again prom: fuckin amazing!!!!!! after party...interesting lmfao uhh ya thats it...look picture!!!! ppl: Auntie Me Mom 8:40 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Friday, May 25, 2007 short and sweet meeting paulo: not so good prom tomorrow: yay...nay...no after party and everyone's pissed at me plus i have no date 4:41 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Wednesday, May 23, 2007 tonight i meet Paulo...mixed emotions...i dont expect ne thing spectacular so yaa...umm....stressed...feeling alone...the usual.... RIGHT HERE<33 I know I've been mistaken But just give me a break and see the changes that I've made I've got some imperfections But how can you collect them all and throw them in my face But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting I hope you're not intending To be so condescending it's as much as i can take and you're so independent you just refuse to bend so I keep bending till I break But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting I've made a commitment I'm willing to bleed for you I needed fulfillment I found what I need in you Why can't you just forgive me I don't want to relive all the mistakes I've made along the way But I always find a way to keep you right here waiting I always find the words to say to keep you right here waiting But you always find a way To keep me right here waiting You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting And if I chose to walk away would you be right here waiting Searching for the things to say to keep me right here waiting 1:23 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Thursday, May 17, 2007 As Lovers Go <33 he said, "I've got to be honest, You're wasting your time if you're fishin' around here." And I said, "You must be mistaken, I'm not foolin', this feelin' is real." She said, "You've gotta be crazy! What do you take me for? Some kinda of easy mark?" "You've got wits, You've got looks, You've got passion, But I swear that you've got me all wrong." All wrong All wrong But you've got me I'll be true, I'll be useful, I'll be cavalier, I'll be yours my dear And I'll belong to you If you just let me through This is easy as lovers go. So don't complicate it by hesitating. This is wonderful as loving goes. This is tailormade, What's the sense in waiting? I said, "I've got to be honest, I've been waiting for you all of my life." For so long I thought I was asylum bound, But just seeing you makes me think twice. And being with you here makes me sane. I fear I'll go crazy if you leave my side. "You've got wits, You've got looks, You've got passion, But are you brave enough to leave with me tonight?" Tonight Tonight You've got me I'll be true, I'll be useful, I'll be cavalier, I'll be yours my dear I'll belong to you If you just let me through This is easy as lovers go. So don't complicate it by hesitating. This is wonderful as loving goes. This is tailormade, what's the sense in waiting? This is easy as lovers go. So don't complicate it by hesitating. This is wonderful as loving goes. This is tailormade, what's the sense in waiting? This is easy as lovers go. So don't complicate it by hesitating. This is wonderful as loving goes. This is tailormade, what's the sense in waiting? 2:45 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Thursday, May 17, 2007 so i totally cut thompo out of my life forever and ever. he turned out to be just like joey and took me off facebook and msn so i said fuck it and i sent him an e-mail that said that i never wanted to see him again. So thats the end. I'm not upset or n e thing so thats good. now joey's been talkin to me again. i swear this is gonna be like a never ending cycle, actually it will end when I get the hell out of here. When i get to London everything will be so different : ] I'm super excited!!! 2:44 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Friday, May 11, 2007 oh ya another thing, i got into Fanshawe!! i still have to find out if i got into rez and if not im looking at apartments. im really frikkin excited! and im moving to my dads at the end of june so my life has definitly gone 360! yay lol 9:16 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it I quit timmies! lmfao yes thats right im finally free from the devils grips that keeps me in that hell hole...wow deep lol. umm i dont seem to talk to thompo n e more...after our 'get together' he hasnt really talked to me. but thats ok, because i dont really care all that much. why bother? i know i got used, i know what that feels like and hey i had it coming to i dont feel all that suprised... n e ways i got an ashlee simpson song that i really like and it reminds me of my life in some ways. and i like the tune... i dunno lol The sky is falling And it's early in the morning But it's ok somehow I spilt my coffee, it went All over your clothes I gotta wear mine now And im always, always,always late And my hair's a mess, Even when it's straight But so what, I'm better off everyday When i'm standing in the pouring rain, I dont mind I think of you and everythings alright I used to think i had it good But now i know that i misunderstood With you I'd say, i'm better off in every way My friends keep callin' They say, they say im stallin' And they wanna meet you now I tell them hell no, i say We're tryin' to lay low Don't wanna lose what i've found Things are finally, finally lookin' up Oh my feet are on the ground Even though im stuck But so what, I'm better off everyday When i'm standing in the pouring rain, I dont mind I think of you and everythings alright I used to think i had it good But now i know that i misunderstood With you I'd say, i'm better off in every way Things are finally, finally lookin' up Oh my feet are on the ground Even though im stuck Even though im stuck But so what, I'm better off everyday When i'm standing in the pouring rain, I dont mind I think of you and everythings alright I used to think i had it good But now i know that i misunderstood With you I'd say, i'm better off in every way Yeah, yeah Better off in every way I'm better off in every way I'm better off today The sky is falling And it's early in the morning But it's ok 9:14 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Saturday, April 28, 2007 alrighty so work is killing me. i have a bruise on my hand from something and it hurts omg i signed up for Gmail! lmfao send me a message AT cait.mano@gmail.com (its an inside joke lol) umm yess...I asked Thompo to prom. heres the convo: ]*xo C a i t ox*[] -where fears and lies melt away music will tie says: alright well, my prom is coming up (may 26) and i dont have a date SO i was wondering if you wanted to go with me. just a friend thing nothin serious or n ething how you doin' ya'll? My name is Mike i'm fluent with the new shit I'm doing it all night says: well i definitly will have to get back to you on it. can't make decision right now []*xo C a i t ox*[] -where fears and lies melt away music will tie says: alrighty, no pressure how you doin' ya'll? My name is Mike i'm fluent with the new shit I'm doing it all night says: ok ill let u kno asap So ya that was it...i dont know what to do...i mean, i refuse to go dateless to prom so yaa....idunno i'll give it a bit of time and we'll see....lol 6:07 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Friday, April 27, 2007 well then...ummmmm the dying my hair blonde and pink never happened. lol i bleached it and it went orange, so put blonde in it and it went yellow. so i had to go to HairXtasy and get it fixed. SO 5 people 2.5 hours and $200 later it was fixed lol. Now its brown with blonde highlights. I'm never dying my hair again lol. I am now officially going to Fanshawe! I sent in the "yes i wanna go to your school" thingy lol. So I start September 4 and I'm uber excited!!!! Got my report card, 70 average! i couldnt believe it! lol i've never had that, im doing so well this semester im so proud of myself lol. Umm what else can i say????????? no clue. hmm...lol ya nothing now im blankkkk,.................. 9:57 AM - add eprops - add comments - email it Tuesday, April 17, 2007 so umm i had a ginormus fight with Kole and its over. No friendship or n e thing. i ended it beucase i was attacking him and he was all positive and it was freaking me out. umm...I'm dying my hair pink and i'm really excited....ummmm...ya lol 2:25 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Saturday, March 31, 2007 i got my eyebrow pierced!!! yayy!!! lmfao I like it lol. my dad and Carly think it looks ok...everyone else in my family is like "why?!" lol. oh well. Right now I'm waiting on Car, She had like a huge pain in her side so she went to the Willet and now shes on her way to BGH. They say it could be her appendix or her liver. Either way its not good, if it's her liver thay have to find out whats wrong and if its her appendix they obviously have to remove 'em right? So I dont know what to do. i feel totally useless here just waiting...but what good would i be there? but at least here i have something to do lol. but n e ways. I'm not having that bad of a time staying here in gay old Paris lol. not that im here a lot, i have night school and i work so im barely home. But when i am its pretty splendid. k im done...i dont wanna type n e more... 5:34 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Monday, March 26, 2007 Currently Listening Bless The Broken Road Made Popular by Rascal Flatts see related I need HELP i had a huge fight with Sean last night and i finally gave him a piece of my mind!!! but it ended with me calling my dad and asking him to get me out of there. my mom's not too thrilled, but she clearly doesnt understand me. So I've been told to think about what i should do today. i could move to burlington and drop out of school/ night school and start fresh next year. or i could stay in paris with my aunt and still finish off the year. i think thats what im gonna do. my aunt's always been there for me. i feel so shitty tho. i mean my mom is my best friend, but she's been standing back and letting sean abuse her and me. she had always told me that we're gonna have a good life....so where is that life? cuz i havent seen it. but i still dont know what to do....go to my aunts or stay wtih my dad?????????????? 10:59 AM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Monday, March 19, 2007 Currently Watching Supernatural - The Complete First Season By Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles see related finally! i have my computer, my internet and like freedom. lol i looooooooooooove it. woohoo! lol ya i had a hell of a time getting the internet hooked up, but with the help of my dad and 310 surf we got it hooked up and now i'm free to type as load as i want and stay on as long as i want. and i dont have to go into the shrine to get to the computer n e more....the only reason why i would is to burn a cd thats it! yay!! thats it for my mini celebration lol. So i miss being at my dad's. its so different there, when I'm there we all hang out and stuff and then when I'm here my mom says hi and she goes back and talks to sean and I go to my room and do whatever. I was on the bus today and i felt very alone. i mean i have my friends and they're crazy and they make me happy. but when i'm at home, I'm not really happy...but College is soon and I'll be on my own but by choice this time. ^_^ 9:38 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Friday, March 16, 2007 Currently Listening Much Music: Big Shiny Tunes, Vol. 10 By Various Artists see related So its the last day of March Break and i didnt do too much, worked monday, visited my aunt tuesday, visited the baby wednesday and had a hige blow out with sean and left. Now I'm at my dad's I went shopping yesterday, and now im broke. lol. i bought pet sematary, spice world, titanic and mean girls on dvd. So jess you can keep those movies lol. I also bought Big Shiney Tunes 10...now i just have to get 1,2,3,4,5 and 7 lol So ya I had a huge fight with sean over my room. he keeps telling me to clean my rooma and keep it clean, so i dont. cuz he's a prick. so i told him i didnt want him in my room and i wanted a lock and he kept going on an on about how this is his house and i dont get one blah blah blah. whatever i dont care im out of there in 6 months any ways. the killer of that whole thing is my mom took his side. thats totally fucked! grr!!!! but ya, when my dad came to pick us up my mood changed and i've been pretty happy. I dont go back til Sunday night. Which is gonna be ass any ways because its the anniversary of Jared and My Uncle Bill's deaths so it's not gonna be a happy day in that house...then again when is it ever happy? But I'm avoiding sean at all costs and now i wont even have to look at him when im on the computer cuz i now have one to put in my room....unless he decides to be a dick and fuck up my internet...asshole! but ya, i have no reason tol fuckin leave my room now lol. 5:11 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Thursday, March 08, 2007 Currently Listening Stupify By Disturbed see related ok so i'm like dying...there's like almost 2 hours left til freedom and it's loooooooooooooooong lol. Night school tonight...woohoo...then tomorrow is sleepy sleepy time lol. Then work 6-2 saturday and sunday but I'm working with Ashley so I'm pretty happy about that cuz she's like...the bestest person to work with these days. After I think we're going back to her house and playing UFC haha! I'm like so excited lmfao. Then Carly's coming on monday...i believe....not too sure...then i dont know what i'm doing for march break. but on Thursday Jenn's coming with me to find a computer and she's gonna like help me make all..cool and shit! lol cuz she's the shit! lmao ^_^ heehee.....I'm a little bored....myspace wont work on this computer...it worked on the computer i was on yesterday. lol...oh well...too bad, I'll be on it soon enough. So I have come to the concusion that life's kinda boring without a computer to entertain me. lol but i did get my controller for my playstation. and i bought Crash Bash and Crach Bandicoot2 so that's been making up for my lack of computer....k my wrist hurts...carpel tunnel!! ahh!!! lol...i wouldn't doubt it... so umm...I'm tired, but the good news is my cold is gone and i can sing again! i'm so happy about that. i <3 singing. lol and not being able to makes me feel sad. lol. most of this 'entry' is most likely going to me going on and on about random stuff to kill time. lol Actually no..I'm gonna surf the net! lmfao 1:03 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Tuesday, March 06, 2007 wow...been a while lol...so here's the scoop...Sean fucked up the computer again SO I'm buying one next fuckin friday! I'm so excited. Umm...today I bought myself a playstation controller, a memory card and Crash Warped! hahaha I'm sooooo playing it when I get home. lol umm ya...thats it for right now 1:24 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Thursday, February 22, 2007 Currently Listening She's So Unusual By Cyndi Lauper Girls just wanna have fun see related omg! I'm so scared my dad's in the hospital again, he's been there since Tuesday for tests on his heart and stuff. But now he's in Mississauga for some other test they can only do there. But I'm so worried about him, I talked to him and all I could was cry because I knew I was talking to him while he was laying in a hospital bed in ER. My sister's not in a good way so my mom and I made an agreement and I'm going there tonight until Saturday and tehn figuring out a way home for work. I feel bad though cuz me and Jenn had plans and I fucked that up :'( i think she's mad at me. i dont like that feeling. So i have quite a bit of homework to do tonight and tomorrow so I can get caught up wtih everything so that won't be problem. Ya so far in school I'm doing pretty good, I'm so proud of myself....now i dont know what else i want to write about...... 1:25 PM - 4 eprops - 4 comments - email it Tuesday, February 20, 2007 I'm in comm tech...and a lil bored lol I'm making a website, but I don't know what to make it on...I'm thinking of doing one on Kurt Cobain...or on a movie...so maybe I'll do Jenn a favour and make one on Titanic lol, but like...what could I do for that???? cuz i have no ideas :-S I have night school tonight..woohoo, lol what can ya do tho right??? lol I'm stillm waiting to hear back from Fanshawe, I heard that they don't send out acceptance letters til like...March so i have a little while to wait, but thats ok. It just gives me more time to think of where else I can go cuz I have four more to chose from. i've been doing a bit of thinking...i kinda miss brock, i dont know why i would even think that now considering he's saying all this shit about me. But a couple days ago i heard that he told his friends that i was "the one" wtf is that? lol I apparently broke his heart and i get to hear that... ooooook then! 1:50 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Monday, February 19, 2007 Currently Listening What If see related I'm done! yupp thats right. This is the end of my tryin to win over thompo. he's leading me on like a little dog and i've HAD it! last night was the end and I'm sticking to it! But there is a catch, you see he has been playing a game with me SOOOOOOOOo i figure it's only fair if I do that too. So he thinks that we're tight...to a point...and he'll try to keep playin me and i'll make him think he is...ok wait. this plan sucks...cuz if i make him think he is then where's my glory? cuz i cant do anything with a set up like that...k thats just retarded, lets get all old school and just hunt him down and like...jump him lol. Umm...oh ya, so Alan Tweedle's pregnant girlfriend and her sister found it necessary to call me last night and interrigate me because of messages they found on his phone. he had asked me to hook up on valentines day and i kept saying maybe..then in the end i had said no. so they tell me its not my fault and shit, then HE calls me today and i was in class so i dont know wtf is going on! like fuck I dont wanna go through another incident like the one with Mike Campbell and Courtney Woods like eww. lol so ya no more of that shit im through with all of that too lol 6:44 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Friday, February 16, 2007 i have nothing to say today... i just wanted to post.... 1:45 PM - 2 eprops - 2 comments - email it Tuesday, February 13, 2007 So...I'm 18 now! woot!! lol and its no different than 17 lol....Valentine's Day tomorrow :( i actually don't care if I'm guyless or not...we don;t need guys to make a good Valentines day...we need lots of scratch tickets ice cream and porn! lmfao but ya...ummm...night school tonight....fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun....NOT its so like....BLAH. i'm a complete idiot for fuckin my life up so bad!! But W/E!!! lmfao n e who im off............ 2:56 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Thursday, February 08, 2007 Currently Listening Lest We Forget: The Best of Marilyn Manson By Marilyn Manson see related I'm sad...Thompo is going to Fergus to see a girl who likes him. and its my birthday and i like him. and i told howard and he got all, "well u cant expect him to not go and do things just cause u like him" WTF is that. that hurts because he was like that with jess. so hes a hypocrit....GOD i fuckin hate that!!! i helped him and he fuckin like doesnt even give a shit about what i have to say and thats not nice.... so ya i dont really like guys at the moment. 4:19 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Tuesday, January 30, 2007 Currently Listening Essentially Naked i love myself today see related ok so I CLEARLY overreacted about the whole thompo thing yesterday [i'm sorry if you've already read it thompo] but uhh ya. we're cool lol. umm..went skiing...i swear if you ever want to see me make a complete ass of myself, take me skiing lol. i fell on a lift...some guy tried to lift me but i was just trying to get to a railing to pull my own fat ass up and he was doing noithing for me. I dropped on of my polls on another lift and i fell completely off one and smacked my head off the ground. nice eh? i had a headache to last me the rest of the day...today I'm still hurtin, but hey I'm fiiiiiiiiine lol. My dad had bought boxing gloves so i got to beat the shit out of him ta day lmfao it was frikkin hilarious. and uhh...ya thats kinda it. it was a pretty low key day which was good enough for me. I really dont want this week to end, i dont wanna have to face reality and go back to the hell hole i call home...because i know it sucks i'm buying myself a companion to help me through it. I'm thinking of getting another bird. But this one I can train and wont freak out easily like Delilah does. and this one will live at my mom's instead of at my dad's. I've got the cage now all i need is the bird itself and food and im good to go. lol. that way i know that I'll always have someone there to keep a smile on my face when the rest of me wants to die. Plus lets face it, a bitch of a cat just wont cut it lol she loves my mom more than she loves me. and I'm almost 18 this will prove that i can take care of a living being lol. uhh...i dont know what else to say lmfao.....i think i'm playing glow in the dark mini putt tomorow i'm psyched its gonna be great!!! lmfao 9:33 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Monday, January 29, 2007 Currently Listening Missundaztood By Pink Dear Diary see related well I've had it with waiting to see if Thompo ever wants to start something. this is bullshit! he hardly ever talks to me he's blown me off twice and he likes someone else. the bitch about the whole thing is....he hasnt told me that he likes someone else. howard did. So this whole 'lets take it slow' thing was probably just another one of those lines to get me off his ass. whatever i dont care anymore. we're just friends and now thats all we can be, if he decides later on that he wants something more after all i can't allow myself so to be all like 'omg i've been waiting for you to say that' or whatever because it will be too late. and its not like this is the first time thats this has happened so i should have known what to expect here. but now im prepared. but anyways...if you cant already tell i had another one of those weeks. Fuckin my mom and sean have been fighting again, only they took it once step further and dragged me into it. they keep fighting about everything that i'm doing wrong. do you have any idea how heart breaking that is. well sean can kiss my ass cuz he doesnt know how to do anything right. But all this started because I didn't shovel the drive way on firday BECAUSE I FELT SICK. wtf is that?? exams were last week and iwas stressed beyond belief. i had to make a cheat sheet for my math exam and i had never felt more stupid in my life. i didnt know what the fuck i was doing. i still feel stupid because i'm not good at tests and its not like i can pass anything anyways. i mean i didnt even pass drivers ed! the stupid broad said that i only got a 72% average and i HAVE to have a 75% that just made me feel sooooooooooo great but anyways...I'm supposed to be going skiing today...that should be fun lol i suck at it so it'll be hilarious. lol 10:57 AM - add eprops - add comments - email it Wednesday, January 17, 2007 ok, so I'm quite confused...i dont know whats goin on with howard, but i thought we were friends and now he's not tlaking to me....hmm...i dont know. things with me and thompo are pretty much set. we had a long conversation last night and we're just friends, well for the moment i guess, but he's going throught a lot and I'm tryin my best to help it through it all. But ya, we tlaked about it and things are fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine lol. i get to go to work tonight...woohoo...the only reason why i want to is because it saves me the trip up there to pick up my check. but i hate being treated like shit! oh well theres nothing i can do about it...right? so for the first time ever i got told by my dad that he was really proud of me. I cried. for those of you who don't know, i applied to college for my DSW (developmental service worker) I'm so excited! if i get in i'll be so happy. thats it for now... 10:56 AM - add eprops - add comments - email it Tuesday, January 16, 2007 alrighty then, my mom is on a war path because she seems to be realizing that Carly and I were right. Sean is a complete moron. yupp, shes asks him to do a couple things and he does one thing half assed...i think shes gonna kill him...not good...bad...well sorta...she can kill him all she wants, but then she'll go to jail for the rest of her life...or the nut house...but ya, he's getting on my last nerve...ya im not allowed to do homework on the computer at certain times anymore because i 'type too loud' like that? i could fail because he wont let me fuckin go on the compiter....one more paycheck and I'll have one for myself! cuz i've had it with him. since i'm in a pissed off mood i'll complain about work too. ok so i work 4 shifts a week for these people, yes i know its not a lot but still i also have school and shit that i have to do too. but they dont give 2 shits...at all its ridiculous. like i work my ass off for them at whatever time they want me to and im so tired from in and the still dont care. i cant wait til i quit....but that wont be for a while. I've discovered that this is the best paying job...atm n e ways....but ya...ok im most likely gonna get kicked off soon...:( i really hate my life right now 5:45 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Tuesday, January 09, 2007 Currently Listening Tears Don't Fall By Bullet for My Valentine see related i'm not in teh best mood today. i've actually been quite sad lately. i manage to put on a happy face for school, but when i get in all the emotions flood me and i like snap. my sister has told my mom that she cant come here anymore because of sean, and all my mom can say to that is "theres nothing i can do about it". we are trying to tell her that her being with him is a bad decision, but she refuses to listen to us and thats heart breaking. uhh, Howards not in a good way and he told me that things with Thompo might be on the rocks. BUT thankfully we're fine, at least i think we are and i believe we're hanging out on saturday. God i feel so shitty, i just want someone to talk to. there are so many days where i just feel like breaking down, and sometimes i will outta the blue....ya ya Cait's a sissy whatta ya want lol. but i just have so many things going through my mind, and i know that in the very near future i'm gonna end up hurting someone. i hate knowing that i'll be hurting someone with a decision that i made for my well being. i know that none of that makes sense but its so hard to explain....maybe i should see a counsellor or something because it'll give me someone that i can just talk to. *sigh* i dont know, what i really want is to talk to thompo cuz i really feel like i can talk to him and he gives me the clear indication that hes listening. i think i know where he stands with us. i think we're just friends and thats cool. i dont really wanna drag a bf through my problems. so theres my babbling, like that?? lol well maybe someone can actually relate to me... 7:25 PM - 8 eprops - 19 comments - email it Sunday, January 07, 2007 Currently Listening Whats My Age Again? (Enhanced) By Blink 182 see related alright now! today is my faja's b-day! he's 41. i actually find that to be quite scary cuz he's like so young lol. but ne ways. umm ya, brock hates me even more than before *giggle* why? because i found out that he was saying shit about me to his friends and confronted him with it. apparently i had to borrow money off him and never paid him back. hes a fucking moron! i have a job therefor 9 times out of 10 i have money and he has no job...poor sap. but whatever. im over it. i get to chill with thompo again, thursday. woohoo...lol, so that means this week is gonna go by pretty slow. i work tomorrow 5-10:30, and wednesday 5-10:30. im an idiot for agreeing to wrok mondays and wednesdays. i rreally dont care tho, i mean its 5.5 hours each shift and its money and that what i need most if i want a lap top right??? plus i wanna get my tatoo so i have a lot to save up for. oh yaa...a month tuesday is my birthday! and the day i get my tatoo. im so excited its gonnabe so great. i have the idea in it in my head and its gonna be an ankh with a celtic design in it and a rose bud laying across the middle of it. the rose bud represents my family and the ankh represents my beliefs. sweet huh? im so excited...and i dont care how much ppl say it will hurt, the only way i'll know is if i get it. oh yes! lol ya....i feel kinda sick oh well, but ya we're going to Tucker's Marketplace tonight. i love that place, its so good. mmmmm...lotsa pasta! woohoo!! 2:01 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Friday, January 05, 2007 Currently Listening Bed Of Roses By Bon Jovi see related uhh what time is it??? 9:41...ok lol. i just woke up. k so yesterday was my move upstairs (@ my dad's). i moved whats left of my shit into his studio. so i basically just hve a bed a bag and a box lol. but thats ok. i get the computer in here so im on it like all the time now. lol well for the time that im here n e ways. i dyed my hair yesterday toooo. it's called pure purple but it just turned out black lol. i really like it. when i get a good picture of moi w/ it i'll post it. lol....ugh k theres more but im too tired to write it lol so i'll post lataaa. 9:51 AM - add eprops - add comments - email it Wednesday, December 27, 2006 so i was reading howards post and the topic got me thinking about this past year and its emotional rollar coaster it had me on. the start was pretty good, tunred 17 and all was well with the world. but then came March 18 the 5th anniversary of my uncle's death and the day Jared, my 9 year old "cousin" was murdered byt his own father. the days, weeks, and months following that were heartbreaking and stressful. That's when Kevin and Jared's law was fighting to be read. it took 7 long months before it finally passed and is now an official law. in the middle of all that came the huge fight that caused me and my mom to move to paris. her and her bf had it out and we left. i regret ever letting her talk me into going back. we were living with my aunt for only a month and it was great, and if we had some common sense we'd still be there. and my mom and my aunt would have a great relationship. but instead my mom let a guy get in the way of that and for that i sometimes pity her. another ting, while we were staying in paris i sitll got to hang out with friends and i happened tohang out with joey for what was now the last time. because that was the day i lost my virginity...to him and things were never the same. not so long after that i ofund out that my uncle and his wife were spitting up and a few weeks after that Tammy left my dad. he was left heartbroken that she had found someone else and up and left. now i hate her for it. she's the fake i aslways suspected her to be. she claims she wants to be a part of mine and my sisters life. i havent talked to her since august. which is fine because i would just say things that i know would later bite me in the ass. Then came time to go to Port elgin for 2 weeks, and holy shit! this was the best trip up there ever! i got to see someone i hadn't seen since i was 15 (not that great tho lol) and i met all kinds of different people and we went from one group of different people to a morphed group of friends and it was life changing. we got to find out that we had it in for next year and it will be my very last time in teen local and thats ok beause it would be my thrid time doing it. after that was the beginning of grade12 and my chance to prove to everyone that i wasnt a screw up and i could do it. well i slipped up a few times but this time i'm working hard and thats all that matters. i had been a baker which started in june but im convinced that the oppertunity has been taken away from me which is fine because im quitting. yupp thats my new years resolution. find a new job. back to my outlook on the year. th perfect end to it was the florida trip. so much we had done and now it doesnt even feel like we left. but holy shit have we've got the memories to prove that we did. now boyfriend wise it was JB, John, and Brock. sad eh? lol oh well. I have no idea whats going on with me and Thompo and to be completely honest i actually like that, i love not knowing whats gonna be going on its kinda of like a challenge ya know. lol like for all i know the guy could hate my guts and i still havent found that out. but all i know is that we can talk and talk and not seem to get bored of each other so i'm assuming thats a good thing right...RIGHT?! lol so this concludes my outlook on the year 2006. boy what a hellride! '07 will be better i know it! 10:49 PM - 2 eprops - 2 comments - email it Tuesday, December 26, 2006 Currently Reading Seeds of Yesterday (Dollanger Saga (Paperback)) By V.C. Andrews see related I'm back! lol i had theeeee best vacation ever! well deserved if i do say so myself. but yaa omg so much happened! we left on monday and it took 2 days. it was pretty nifty. we got to stop at a tim hortons in ohio and it was pretty sweet...they're totally different lol like their medium is out large...haha funny...but ne ways we got to our hotel and passed out. next day we went to Disney World...Magic Kingdom. sweet shit! omg i effin love disney. all of their rides were amazing!! but yaa theres too much and im busy lol so i'll post later 8:40 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Saturday, December 16, 2006 Currently Listening Bullet for My Valentine Ep hit the floor see related omg!!! last night was amazing!!! i finally met thompo and it was...amazing!! lmfao!!! so just to cut the entire evening short. we talked for about 4 hours about EVERYTHING. this is the first time I've had a conversation like that...ever! lol and idunno we seem to have a good connection so thats good right?? lol and ya we talked about like everything we could talk about. and hey if a relationship doesnt form then a tight friendship will I'm sure of it. but right now all can say is that he is the first guy that can make me smile when i even mention his name or talk about him. that makes me sound oh-so-pathetic but ya know what...WHO CARESSS!!! lol 8:59 AM - 4 eprops - 4 comments - email it Thursday, December 14, 2006 Currently Listening The Curse By Atreyu see related alrighty then, so I meet Thompo tomorrow and yes I'm excited! lmfao woohoo...i still really dont have a clue as to what we're doing tho...hmm...that concerns me....haha not really. umm....ya i leave for Florida in 4 days and i have so much shit to get done its quite overwhelming. oh well. it'll be fiiiiiiiiiine lmfao. *sigh* I worked yesterday and it was pretty good. i was so proud of myself lol i got my entire bake done in an hour! yayy meee lol....i had a whole lot ta say and i forget it all...god damn! lmfao 6:32 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Monday, December 11, 2006 Currently Listening Do They Know It's Christmas By Band Aid 20 see related I'm so fucking tired! lol I work too much and then I stay up too late after work...what am I going to do with myself? lol. I can't wait til Florida!!!! yayy! lol. i have a huge headache :s dont like it....oh well....but anyways I have noting else to say right now lol 10:56 AM - add eprops - add comments - email it Sunday, December 10, 2006 Currently Listening Triptych By The Tea Party Heavens Coming Down see related Me and Thompo have been chatting again. and now we're tryin to make plans to meet. yayy! lol I so hope things go over better with him then they did with Brock. Not that I'm expecting to rush into a relationship or anything like that. but n e ways. I've been finding that ever since Alysha hooked up with Justin she's been spending a hell of a lot more time with him than with her friends. i mean its cool that those 2 hooked up cuz i effing love them both, but sometimes we'll make plans and then they'll get a chance to be alone so she pushes the time a bit...oh well, at least i actually know justin, when she was going out with mike i never saw much of her. But ooooooooooh well... this is my last weekend shift before my trip to Florida! yayy!! im so effing excited! I've never been so far away before so its gonna be great. woohoo. I have so much to do this week, I get to pick up my bite guard from the dentist lol ( i grind my teeth when i sleep), i get to go for another driving lesson, i get to go to work, i'm pretty sure I'm hanging out wtih Winston and I get to pack. yupp thats monday thorugh Friday covered. such a busy week I've got planned I'll tell ya that. lol. but ne ways i think im done... 12:58 AM - 6 eprops - 5 comments - email it Saturday, December 09, 2006 Currently Reading If There Be Thorns (Dollanganger) By V.C. Andrews see related So today was BCI's semi formal which I went to. it was fun considering i only knew 4 ppl there...well 5 if you include seeing Kyle Mercer as i was walking out of the gym. lol I havent seen or heard from that shit head in almost a year. what a prick eh? fucker! lmfao but ya it was good. ta nite i was supposed to chill with Thompo but i totally forgot about this BUT we are to hang out sometime in the next week which should be good. yupp yupp yupp, i like him, hes cool. but more on this subject later! im off to bed. 1:05 AM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Wednesday, December 06, 2006 Currently Reading Petals on the Wind (Dollanganger) By V.C. Andrews see related k so me and Brock are over. yupp...gone like the wind, it was nice but its over. in other news i have realized that i am starting to become insanely jealous of every girl that caleb talks to. lol they get to see him every day and im only gonna get to see him every day for 2 weeks and then the end. :'( i love talking to him, he seems to actually listen when i vent to him and he must care in some way about me cuz when i told him i got hit by the car he was all worried about me and asking if i was ok. im not sayin im in love with the guy, hes just...one of the most amazing guys ever and i hate seeing slutty girls write slutty comments on his Myspace! it makes me wanna fuckin kill them...so its not really jealousy then is it??? 12:53 AM - 2 eprops - 4 comments - email it Thursday, November 23, 2006 ok where to start...how bout tuesdays events...i got hit by a car coming home from blockbuster. it was life atering lemme tell ya that. afterwards i realized that i value life more than ever now. umm..me and brock are fine, but i dont think i wanna be with him n e more. i think we're just good as friends...im still gonna stay with him for a while but if these feelings stay the same then i'm gonna hafta let him go. i leave for florida so soon!! im excited!!! lol sooo many events going on its hard to keep track any more lol. ummmm....yaa so im in pain. my legs are in pretty bag shape. my left leg has bruised all over it, but its numb so i cant feel them lol...but i might wanna get that checked out. but umm yaa....my arm hurts and i still cant believe it happened. 5:48 PM - 2 eprops - 4 comments - email it Monday, November 20, 2006 well then. i had my interview at san fransisco on friday and it was amazingly well...at least i think so. then after that i ended up downtown when alysha called me so i went back up to the mall. then we got on the wrong bus and went downtown again. then we got on the right bus and ended up at our tim hortons. yaa alysha justin and i have adopted a new tim hortons. the one on kind george by food basics lol. byt ya then i finally got home. then i went to work and slept over at alyshas on saturday and we watched cars. i love that movie!! then on sunday i went to work again and told alysha and justin to come to my house today cuz yaa...so i guess we're gonna watch monty python and the hold grail lol. ive never seen that. so yaa it should be interesting. Brock's coming over too. aww...lol...but if he pisses me off hes a dead man! lol. so umm ya. lol that was my weekend. im quite tired now i wanna sleep...oh well 10:56 AM - add eprops - add comments - email it Friday, November 17, 2006 Currently Listening If Only You Were Lonely Version A By Hawthorne Heights see related today is mine and Brock's one month! lol so this is a first cuz I've never lastest a month with a guy and ACTUALLY seen them in that month lmao. so i'm proud. we had some isssues the other day which appear to be resolved now...hmmm...iunno, but JB claims to want to stop fighting and then he shoots his mouth of. he told brock that i was leaving him, to be with him! oh hells no! 7:13 AM - add eprops - add comments - email it Monday, November 13, 2006 ok so tabi, yaa not gonna happen. i got an interview at mariposa tho. yay!! i hpoe that goes good cuz i want out of shitzville!. thats basically the only good part of my day, i dont know whats going on with nate's condition so im concerned about that and my mom isnt helping any cuz all shes doing is yelling at me cuz apparently im pissing her off and i havent done anything. whatver 5:21 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Currently Listening Chasing Cars By Snow Patrol see related interview sucked, not planning on working there. lol they want my references but i'm not even gonna try. this job is not for me. I'm applying at all the grocery stores lol. I dont understand why it's not that hard for me to try lookin for a job but when Brock does it he makes it look like theirs only like 2 jobs for him and thats it! wtf?! whatever. ya hes being an ass to me and theres really no need. I havent done anything all i did was ask if he wanted to hang out on wednesday because i was busy on monday and i had to work on tuesday...what a dink! lol....what am i gonna do with him? so apparently this whole thing with JB is resolved...yaa well we'll just see how long that lasts. he's probably gonna tell rachael about me and joey. oh well deny deny deny! lol. but yaa...I'm dying to get out of tim hortons! like seriously i want out so bad all because of tanya...thats not the whole reason but i dont like being disrespected the way i am because she believes that bakers dont have the "real" work. i cant believe that. so while we were having out good or bad weekends someone didnt get so lucky. poor Nathan Taylor got in a accident :( if we were on the terms we were before anthro last year i wouldn't care as much. but we managed to be on good terms and i feel so bad, i hope he's ok because he's got so much going for him his life can't be cut short like this. its not fair. 10:57 AM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Friday, November 10, 2006 my interview is todayy!!!!! yayy!! it's at Tabi, yes not the most popular store but a job FAR away from Tim Hortons none-the-less. lmfao. I'm so excited. lol. I'm going to my dad's tonight too and I'll gonna be there til Sunday, which is good cuz I havents spent a lot of time there since the summer lol. so yaa I'll update after I get to Burlington. 11:10 AM - add eprops - add comments - email it Sunday, November 05, 2006 Currently Listening Blink 182 By blink-182, Blink 182 Down see related Tim Hortons is shit! the drama is shit and JB is shit! i fucking hate it and i want out now!!!!! yaa we have a new supervisor who isnt afraid to fuckin complain aobut me to corry but cant say anything to my face and make it look like everythings fine! what a two faced bitch! im pissed at that...and fuckin JB trying to get me a trouble for "leving a mess for him to clean up" i cleaned that fuckin kitched so good my arms hurt. so what does that fucker do?? leave me dirty muffin pans and a fucking mess in the freezer!!! yaa really mature buddy! fuck!!! but on a good note, me and Brock are still together and we had a good time today. this was the first time we've hung out alone. sad eh? but omg it was amazing. he told me that he loves me. awwww lol im pretty sure he means it too and ive never had anyone say it and actually mean it so that means so much to me. so yaa there ya go Becky here's ur post you've been waiting for lol <3 yaa hunny and i miss you like SO much. 8:35 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Thursday, October 26, 2006 omg! Brock and I had the most amazing night together Tuesday night. we just cuddled and watched a movie at rachael's. but we never got to see much of it if ya catch my drift! lmfao ooooooh yaa.. lol cuz ya he kissed me!! we had out first kiss and it was amazing. so because it was so amazing it lasted like 3 1/2 hours! lmfao. i didnt know i could do that. but ya and he sent me an e-mail and he said he loves me. =O omg! lol i havent said it back cuz its only been like a week and a half lmao. but ya i see this finally working out for me. as for the JB situation he's still saying that my friends are saying shit about me but i know hes just trying to get me pissed and its working but im blowin it off cuz i dont need that shit from anybody especially him! so ya. fuck him!! lmao. so ya i gotts to go to school now lol. luv you all!! =) <3 The drops of rain they fall all over This awkward silence makes me crazy The glow inside burns light upon her I'll try to kiss you if you let me (This can't be the end) (chorus)Tidal waves they rip right through me Tears from eyes worn cold and sad Pick me up now I need you so bad Down down down down Down down down down Down down down down Down down down down It gets me so Your vows of silence fall all over The look in your eyes makes me crazy I feel the darkness break upon her I'll take you over if you let me (You did this) (chorus) 8:04 AM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Friday, October 20, 2006 JB is ruining my fuckin life! he is now friends with Rachael. I find it ironic that he talks to all the people I trust and manage to drive a wedge between me and them. Cuz now hes telling me that ALL my friends bad mouth me behind my back to him. Brock included. (Brock's my bf for those of you who dont know) I fuckin hate this. he either wants me to so pissed at them that i stop talking to them so he gets them to himself OR he wants me to have no friends at all for no reason. what a fuckin dink hole! i fuckin hate him!!! GRRRR!!! 11:32 PM - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it Saturday, October 14, 2006 Currently Listening Extreme Behavior By Hinder nothing good about goodbye see related Wayne is a fucking idiot!!! he's trying to be the heart breaker lol i should probably just let him go with it but i wanna be the bitch lol. oh well...my mp3 player sucks! I'm returning it cuz it was being a bitch lol i was gonna write like so much more but i cant think 11:39 AM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Friday, October 13, 2006 well what can i tell ya bout last night???.... well the date itself sucked. but jess was with me and it was like amazing! lmfao Wayne like said maybe 5 sentences to me and that was the end of it. yaa he's retarded!!! lmfao. I bought a pretty pink shiney mp3 player so i'm like so excited about playin around with it when its charged lol. but ya me and Jess are now Julian and Bubz. lol oh yes i am Bubbles! lmao. thats amazing. julian ricky and bubz!!! lmfao Jess omg it was so funny!!! PS i miss you too becky!!! ily!! 10:44 AM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Thursday, October 12, 2006 Currently Listening All These Things I Hate By Bullet for My Valentine see related wow nice entry i wrote eh? well i'm a lot better now. I dont have to worry about my mom and my walk around report lol cuz she knows how im doing now. I have my date with Wayne ta nite... and no, im not looking forward to it. he's like not my type at all!! but i decided to give him a chance to show that I'm not some shallow cold hearted bitch lol. I talked to Caleb last night and he's like the best! we talked about everything and i havent done that with anyone in a while. i really like tlaking to him, and from the impression i got from him he likes talking to me too. yay. we talked about port elgin and having to make the best of our last time. *tear* so that means that will be the last time i'll ever see him. unless we get married!!! lmfao not that I plan on THAT but hey a gril can dream riiiight? lol. 11:10 AM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Tuesday, October 10, 2006 so things with me and yanie arent gonna happen, after tomorrow i wont be allowed back on here which is just fucking fine! i dont care anymore im never gonna be a good enough student to do anything with my life anyways why not just end it while i still can? im sure some people will be happy and i wont have to deal with anymore bullshit anymore! honey why you calling me so late? It's kinda hard to talk right now Honey why are you crying is everything okay I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud Well, my girl's in the next room Sometimes I wish she was you I guess we never really moved on It's really good to hear your voice saying my name It sounds so sweet Coming from the lips of an angel Hearing those words it makes me weak And I never wanna say goodbye But girl you make it hard to be faithful With the lips of an angel It's funny that you're calling me tonight And yes I've dreamt of you too And does he know you're talking to me Will it start a fight No I don't think she has a clue Well my girl's in the next room Sometimes I wish she was you I guess we never really moved on It's really good to hear your voice saying my name It sounds so sweet Coming from the lips of an angel Hearing those words it makes me weak And I never wanna say goodbye But girl you make it hard to be faithful With the lips of an angel It's really good to hear your voice saying my name It sounds so sweet Coming from the lips of an angel Hearing those words it makes me weak And I never wanna say goodbye But girl you make it hard to be faithful With the lips of an angel (And I never wanna say goodbye) But girl you make it hard to be faithful With the lips of an angel honey why you calling me so late? 5:26 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Saturday, October 07, 2006 Currently Listening With The Lights Out By Nirvana you know your right see related i so need someone that I can vent to right now. a lot of this shit I'm going through is so hard to explain tho. I've got mixed emotions about like everything. I thought I'd be ok with something and I managed to convince myself that I was, but I'm not at all. I met one of the most amazing ppl ever!! His name is Yanie and he's just amazing. He plays bass so he's gonna teach me (yayy!!) but that's all I'm saying because I don't wanna jynx anything. I went on (another) shopping spree yesterday. I bought 3 shirts a pair of pants and 2 pairs of shoes. oh well when shit from Garage finally fits me again I'm gonna buy it! omg i finally have one of those Campus Crew preppy golf shirt things lmfao. now i can look like everyone else!! (heehee!!!). I had yet another fun filled day at work...actually it wasnt all that bad. I got to work with Mandy instead of Corry which was good and I finally had a shift with Sarah. I effin love that girl! lol we always have good times when we're workin together. I managed to convince her to go shopping in Cambridge so I think thats what we're doin next weekend. I got my halloween costume!! its called spider fairy and its hott! i had a truck load of stuff to say and i forgot it all! oh well lol it'll probably come to me in my sleep...or at work...OH! i remember one thing. JB works there again! its kinda funny cuz even tho i make fun of him he still wants to talk to me (**evil laugh**) but i cant help it. ok thats it for now 10:01 PM - 2 eprops - 3 comments - email it Wednesday, October 04, 2006 Currently Listening Sorry By Madonna see related guess what i did on sunday!!! burned myself in the hell hole! lol yupp thats right. So now I'm searching for new employment cuz thats ridiculous. ya and I cant do anything cuz my arm hurts so i cancelled my drving lesson. i was an hour too late and they told me i have to pay 30 bucks for a late cancellation!! wtf?!?!!?!?!? things are pretty shitty this week and thats totally normal right?? im gonna have more of these weeks...in my near future...oh well. ya so i'm failing one of my classes so far lol but as of tomorrow i will be in the clear cuz all of my assignments will be all caught up and done and yaa! YAYY!!. omg! so me and Jess went to an info session on the arts/ drama trip and we're going to New York! im so excited i really really hope my mom agrees to let me go. I'll cry if I dont hell i'll cry if i do...all i know is there will be a lake of tears. lol ok i gotta get some of my hw for sherreds class done before tomorrow. wish me luck! 3:44 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Friday, September 29, 2006 yay friday!! lol I'm so tired!! lol k so tomorrow I have to work 7-3 but im not all that concerned cuz i get like the rest of the day so thats good. Plus I'm baking so it should go by pretty fast. Then I'm going to see Jackass 2! I'm so excited!! lol this guy Wayne who I met in Port Elgin lives here and I invited him to go too....part of the reason is cuz we promised we'd hang out and cuz he likes me...i dunno why lol..oooooooooooooooooooh well...I'm spening my friday night all by myself tonight, doesnt bug me all that much i'm going to bed early cuz i have to wake up early. ok i'm about to go insane...i'm sitting by thse 3 grade 11 girls who keep looking over my shoulder and its PISSING me off...GRRRR!!!!! lmfao ahahahahahahahahaha....so i talked to Howard and I guess it's my fault that hes not talking to me...wtf is that?!?!!?!?! ooooooh well... fuck him! 11:01 AM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Monday, September 18, 2006 Currently Listening Bat Country By Avenged Sevenfold see related I'm in such a shitty mood now...I dont know what it is...but i feel like im about to snap...today was my frist co-op...it was pretty good. theres this one guy who keeps running out the door and i have to chase after him but other than that its pretty good...for those of you who dont know. I work at the Family Counselling Centre and I help mentally delayed adults. its not too bad... it wasnt my frist choice...i wanted a lab tech job or something and there was nothing available to me which was ass. I think i'm going to the first NPC football game of the year tonight with aaron, alysha and possibly Mike. So who knows! lol..... 5:00 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Wednesday, September 13, 2006 Currently Listening All These Things I Hate (Revolve Around Me) By Bullet for My Valentine see related So Aaron and Alysha are gettin close and pretty soon they're gonna end up together which I don't mind anymore. lol Before I hated know that they liked eachother because i thought that i still had a thing for Aaron...but I don't. lol. oh and JB made me believe that he wanted to be with me again...turns out he just wanted me to have sex with him and then he'd go back to his girlfriend who according to Justin looks like the beast from Beauty and the Beast. lmfao thats priceless!! so ya thats it for now...lol 3:45 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Thursday, September 07, 2006 well the first day of school was on tuesday....it was ok...i really only have 2 classes....Math and Managing Personal Resources....and co-op i the afternoon so it's gonna be a pretty interesting semester. This year is gonna be good tho. fuck head (aka Aaron) lol finally came swimming last night. that only took all flippin summer. he and alysha came over and it was fun. after we had a huge conversation about like everything. But i've realized that i talk about sex way too much! its not cool!!! lol i sound slutty and im really not....i've only had sex once and that wasnt even me who decided that at the time...i dont know its too fuckin confusing..... 8:01 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Friday, September 01, 2006 Currently Listening Retaliation By Dane Cook see related so....i went to my dads for the last time this summer :'( sad i know....lol i dont really know what i wanna write about today lol....oh my.....i'm kinda pumped for school......thats it for this evening....WAIT! no....I'm going to see Snakes on a Plane w/ Alysha! lol tes gonna be great! 5:36 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Wednesday, August 30, 2006 i got stood up 11:41 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Tuesday, August 29, 2006 Currently Listening The Curse By Atreyu see related i hope to my higher power that my date goes somewhat smoothly. its not going to go the way i hoped it would because someone isnt going to Queens Park like he was supposed to so he's gonna fuckin be here...thats shit! and Howard was a dink last night. so the one thing i was looking forward to is blowing up in my face! why the fuck cant i be happy??!! why does something ALWAYS have to go wrong I hate karma! i try my hardest to think "oh yeah its gonna happen and its gonna be great" and then sean ruins it everytime by getting so fuckin drunk the night before that he misses everything and stays in the basement. I hate my fuckin life! i hate it! 10:49 AM - add eprops - add comments - email it Friday, August 25, 2006 so i forgot to mention....i got used by steven fuckin kryzaniwsky! yes...thats right...he fed me a bunch of lies to get what he wanted from me. ass hole! lol but yeah the day after that was when i met Howard. he's so great! i've never met anyone like him...we talk like for hours about like everything. he knows that joey used me and he fuckin hates him. lol so that's well....interesting. lol i forgot everything i was gonna write.... 12:14 AM - add eprops - add comments - email it Monday, August 21, 2006 Currently Watching Odd Girl Out By Alexa Vega, Lisa Vidal, Leah Pipes, Alicia Morton, Krizia Vega, Elizabeth Rice, Rhoda Griffis, Michael Arata, Shari Dyon Perry, Tony Molina Jr., Ann Mahoney, Justin Groetsch, Scott Shilstone, Robb Conner, Anne Ewen, Dr. Melissa Caudle, Joey Nappo, Chad Biagini, Codie Scott, Brandi Coleman see related so i haven't written since culture night in port elgin.wow. well thursday was the dance and it was good. after was an after party and that was so much fun lol. i got to see a bunch of drunkin teens and it was hilarious. umm yeah then i went to bed. and the killer. friday was so sad. i cried so much. i hugged brennan and he told me that he would see me next year which is true because i'm gong back next year. so me brennan, carly, caleb, carson and jenna are all gonna be together once again! lol i'm so excited. lol but yeah. and that was the end of my port elgin experience. now that i'm home things are getting all the same but different. i dont know how to explain it. Rachael's tryin to set me up with this guy Howard. i talked to him and he's sooooo cute. lol i know that rachael's into him so i have to be careful. lol. k i'm watchin Odd Girl Out and its soo sad and it really makes you think. you could have the most amazing friends one minute and the next they could hate you and make you a social outcast. thats scary. i feel so bad. 6:36 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Wednesday, August 09, 2006 Currently Listening Smoke on the Water see related Tonight was Culture Night, well let's just say....we sucked! lol yup all that hard work and me, car, britt, timmy, josh, and geremie did went to shit very fast! josh fucked up the song, wayne should never sing and well thats it. I did a thing on my own. I sang Bread and Roses which is my favourite Labour song in the whole wide world. I loved it. I could hear myslef and all I could think of was how good I was lol not to sound too concieted or anything. Tomorrow's our last night all together and it's gonna be so sad, because I know I'll never see these people agian. I've done this three times before and I suppose it shouldn't be all that different. After this whole thing it's really got me thinking. I don't want to like be at home anymore. I mean I wanna be with my mom and everything, but I think we made a mistake when we agreed to move back to the house.Sean truely is verbally and emotionally abusive to her and makes her feel like shit. That's no way to make soeone feel. I'm like realizing all this now of all the times. How doI even tell her that??? ok i'm not even gonna focus on that....i gotta get some sleep. I have an all day convention tomorrow. 11:36 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Tuesday, August 08, 2006 Currently Listening Workers Rise: Labor in the Spotlight bread and roses see related so we lost at the general store game last night and the volleyball game tonight oh well... umm...so I convinced myself that I liked Brennan, but turns out I don''t lol. that's fine tho lol. Caleb's safe and sound at home, but he hates it. I'm gonna hate going home too. *sigh* I have to learn my song for Culture Night...which is tomorrow night. OH! so Caleb and Carson also have a sister named Mallory who just came today. She's like amazing! lol she remindes me of my friend Sam and its cool, so we talked like all day and really hit it off so it'll be sad to have to say good bye to her too the thought kills me lol. ok I'm gonna go...lol ps Jess, i know ur still mad at me and i'm sorry for dissappointing you :( i luv ya thruu thick and thin!!! 9:01 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Monday, August 07, 2006 Currently Listening Axel F Pt.1 By Crazy Frog see related well my sexy sexy Caleb went home:'( that makes me sad. But it was pretty good, we hung out at lunch and I sat beside him at dinner. And last night a bunch of us were talking about our sex stories and stuff. it was so much fun! It's sad....he left a note for everyone and i almost cried. I have him on msn so thats good, i can still keep in touch with him and maybe go visit him when i get my g2. *sigh* oh well, i would have eventually had to say good bye to him right? tis sad....the General Store game was tonight, I always have fun playing that even if we don''t win lol. It's so much fun tho! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat else?????? My friend Britt likes that Geremie guy and its the most adorable thing I've ever seen. OH I speant like all day with Caleb too...fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun! lol K I'm off to do something...probably watch a movie... 9:32 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Sunday, August 06, 2006 Currently Listening Dani California By Red Hot Chili Peppers see related steve is an amazing guy! he reminds me of the old joey. That says a lot. I'm not lke i love with him r anything but omg if we could get a relationship going i would do everything i could to get it to work. I only got to spend two days with him but they were amaing and I will never forget them. He's leaving for San Fransisco so I won't see him til MAYBE next year. If I do get to come back for the very last time of my life I'll see him as many times as I can. I hope my dad does get selected lol....so yeah i need to find a new love interest lol. steve's gone and caleb's gone tomorrow...we're pretty close, he makes me laugh so much. So yeah that's my weekend. 5:21 PM - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it Currently Listening Retaliation By Dane Cook see related omg omg omg omg omg!!!!!! so yesterday i went and saw steve....and i have one question, "why does he have to be so damn hot?!?!?" lol i went to the bike shed where he was working and we were alone and he told me that he really liked me and stuff and i tld him that i really liked him and we made out. lol and it was AMAZING! then Caleb camup and it was just me him and Steve for lke 3 hours! I loved it. Then we went and had dinner and chilled for a while. Then Steve had to get picked up and i went back to my room. me and car went to casino night and put all ourmoney together with a bunch of people and ended up with 2 million dollars. And the prize was only a t-shirt lol. But we won. And I got to see Gabesexy as always lol but I'm after Caleb. lol He's goin home on monday cuz he hasto work. that makes me sad. lol and steve's goin away after work so i'll have no hot guy to look at....lol haha. Yeah i'm going to see him and say good bye cuz i wont see him either for a long time or ever again....sad i know but its true. Oh yeah! Karaoke night was so much fuckin fun!!!! lol Isang like 8 songs and got a crown goin on my first and my like 4 om i loved it. ahahaha. alright carwants lunch so i gotta get ready. hehe 11:55 AM - add eprops - add comments - email it Friday, August 04, 2006 ok so me and caleb....yeah we're gettin pretty tight! lol. i liiiiike that. omg so steve...aka my ex has been talkin to me again and wants to hook up....only this time it's gonna be hard to avoid him cuz hes working at the centre. lol. he can not interfere with me plans to seduce caleb lol. wow i wish those plans could actually come to play...hmm.....we must drug him! lmfao i wish...he is so damn hot! lol 4:05 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Thursday, August 03, 2006 ok sorry bout that. my break was over....so yeah that storm....pretty bad....so I really seem to like Caleb...not good....i dont know why but its not like anything can happen anyways. i dont really wanna type any more...lol later xoxo 8:39 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it ok so i never got to finish my entry because we had a huge storm which knocked out the internet. omg that was intense! me and car were still fighting and i went to sleep. When i woke up it was like 6 and she was going to the beach and that's when it started to look a little dark and i could hear thunder. I went for dinner with my dad and we could see it was getting dark fast! this guy Jason came in and he looked like he shit himself lol and he told us that it was getting really windy and shit. I was so scared for my sister so I called our room and she didn't answer so I saw Carson and asked him where she was and he told me that she went back to the room, So I got to the main building and she was there. She told me what it looked like and i had to see it so i ran all the way to the beach....update later 1:17 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Wednesday, August 02, 2006 Currently Listening Time Of Your Life By Green Day see related so,Carly likes Carson.....and now she thinks that I'm trying to come between her and him. I'm not, I would never do that to her. *sigh* oooooooh well.....Carson's cool,but I don't like him like that....i dont know....so i'm hurtin pretty bad:'( i really fucked up my knucle last night so now it hurts like a mofo! so yeah i'll write more later. 1:14 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Tuesday, August 01, 2006 ok so the class isn't as bad as i thought. I mean a lot of the guys are retards, but there's this guy named Carson and he's so sweet. He has a twin brother Calob and he's an ass, I seriously don't understand how they came from the same mother! lol So we had our class elections and here are the places.. President- Brennan Vice- Josh Rocording Secretary - ME!! Sargent at Arms- Geremy Rec Committee (female)- Brittany (male)- Carson. lol I know that you guys dont know these ppl. But yeah, I didn't want to be recording secretary but Carson nominated me so I nominated him for rec committee,,,lol. OH! so I saw Gabe but he's not here for this session but i get to see his sexy older brother Brandon every day! lol he's the rec director. He's hot and funny and i love him! jk . We went o Collingwood and I think I'm dying. I got burnt and my body aches. I went on some suspension bridge and in some caves. All this walking and shit in like 38 degree weather. And we ran out of water so we were all thirsty. When we got back we went swimming in the laske and omg that was so amazing! then we had dinner and went and played tug of war! we were so close to winning but the older class beat us, i hurt my hand pretty bad...i popped a blod vessel in my finger from my ring and bruised my knuckle...ouch! so I'm gonna be in pain tomorrow. oooooooooooh well...oh! and i get to see my buddy Kairo every day. I missed that guy so much! lol so yeah sorry for makin this one so lengthy. lol i'll keep y'all posted. 9:06 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Monday, July 31, 2006 what can i saw about my class??? well a lot of the guys are dick heads and there are some cute guys. oooooooooh well......ummmm we did pottery and i made and ank, its really pretty and i'm painting it red and black. oh yeah!!!!! lmfao. so i miss all you guys:'( lol i'll write a little later. 3:39 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Friday, July 28, 2006 Currently Listening Some Hearts By Carrie Underwood Jesus Take The Wheel see related so we're here!!! we waited soooooooo long lol. so yeah....port elgin is still as amazing as i remember and that is good. i think me nd car are just veggin today. dad thought tammy was gonna take the computer so he took that and the wireless thing so we have internet in the room which rocks!! lmao....haaa...babbling...thats what i'm doing cuz i'm so happy to be here!! lmao so yeah thats it for now. 8:46 PM - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it Thursday, July 20, 2006 Currently Listening The Massacre By 50 Cent Just a Lil Bit see related ok so I'm a drama queen, I make a huge deal out of a small thing....yesterday being an example...ok so yeah me and jess are fine so today,,,well i have a staff meeting, please hold your applause lmao jk....so yeah i dont really feel like writing anymore....8 Dayz to go!!! 2:49 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Tuesday, July 18, 2006 dear readers, today i may have lost my best friend. Why? because Brandon decided to tell her something that's not true. He told her that I said that she was going out with this Tommy Foster guy. I never said shit!! It's not shocking that she believes him over me...I don't understand why she would, he chose today of all days to tell her something like that! he's heartless and cruel. So I'm just keeping this short. Jess I'm sorry if you think I started that shit, but that's not what happened, if you wanna know what ACTUALLY happened then you can ask me and I'll tell you. 2:57 PM - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it Saturday, July 15, 2006 Currently Listening Cry By Faith Hill see related OK...so....i went to rachael's on thursday and we just hung out and watched south park like we used to...it was pretty good. We also decided to go meet up with Winston lol he's pretty cool. Then we went back to her house I slept over and we stayed up til about 2:30 and i passed out. I had summer school the next day so I had to be up at 7. 4 1/2 hours of sleep woohoo!! lol. any ways...after school i went for my 2nd driving lesson and it was ok. then i thought i had to go to work so i got my shit and went to work...turns out i didn't have to work yesterday...i was convinced that i did too...i felt sooooooooooooooo stupid...lol so i went home and chilled there...i actually work today so that should be fun... 12:16 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Wednesday, July 12, 2006 Currently Listening Crossfade By Crossfade see related ok where to start....well I had a very slow day. For the second time in a row...my teacher is sooooooo preoccupied that I get my shit done and then I'm bored. Yesterday I fell asleep...twice and today I just sat and texted people. woohoo...This is the best way to get a credit lol do nothing and you get like an 80. So Joey still hasn't talked to me...oh well I'm not even gonna try any more...what's the point? He's not going anywhere in life to begin with and I could be with him and he'll still be in the same situation and he'll try to drag me with him...no thanks! not interested....and nothin's gonna happen with me and Richard either becaise he's tryin to two time me with jess...what a moron! That's obviously not gonna be kept a secret...God IDIOT!!!! 3:42 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Monday, July 10, 2006 Currently Listening Weathered By Creed Signs see related K so Joey is a fuckin idiot and I hope he gets hit by a bus! I hope I'm the driver of that bus! For those of you who don't know, the fucker used me! I know I sound over dramatic here but I actually thought something would come out of this....nope....so yeah we're not talking anymore. Lately tho I've been talking to Richard, he's such a sweet heart. I think he's gonna ask me out, which right now could be a pretty good thing. I know relationships with him don;t last that long but at least I can feel happy to have someone for at least a day.... 6:29 PM - 6 eprops - 5 comments - email it Sunday, July 02, 2006 Currently Listening Sliver: The Best of the Box By Nirvana Come As You Are see related ok so yesterday was my first bake all by myself and omg! lol it was amazing, I got sooooooo much done! I was a little behind at first but Niki gave me some tips and I followed them and got done faster than I normally would which is great! I do it all again tonight lol. I haven't talked to Joey since Thursday and I feel like something weird is going on. I don't want that!! I mean Joey has no idea that he means like everything to me and if he did he'd say something right?? I know that it's probably a good idea to try and get over him but I can't help it, he's been my friend for a while now and he told me that he liked me before....I'm confused. JB's startin to piss me off cuz everytime I mention a guy's name he gets all pissed off...excuuuuuuuuuuuse me for having a lot of guy friends...plus we're not even together so what's the big deal? Ok so I was a little confused about one of Jess' posts and then she told me what was going on and I have one thing to say. We have got to stop saying stuff about other people we really do, because where does it leave us? Stranded and alone is where it leaves us. If every spreads rumours about other people then eventually you're all by yourself....that's not what you want in life...that's not what anyone wants in life. I just thought I'd throw that out there because it makes me sad when we're like living in peace and then it starts up again and then we're at war...again...lol 10:08 AM - 6 eprops - 5 comments - email it Friday, June 30, 2006 Currently Listening Far Away Pt.1 By Nickelback see related I am like totally in love with Joey!! It's starting to really get obvious and it can't, he can't know cuz then things will be weird!! I'm baker now, me Niki and Jess think that we got Niki's old job cuz she's supervisor now. (Goooooooo Niki!!!) lol. So I've been learning and shtuff all week and my first afternoon shift all by myself is tomorrow and I'm a little nervous. K I'm not supposed to tell anyone this but APPARENTLY Aaron's g/f is a stripper now! lmao can you believe that? that's hilarious!! so yeah summer school starts monday...woohoo....exciting....but then after that I go to Port Elgin and i can't F*ing wait!!!!! 10:45 PM - 6 eprops - 4 comments - email it Sunday, June 25, 2006 Currently Listening Three Days Grace By Three Days Grace Wake Up see related it's been a while. Well I have somemore unrealized feelings for Joey lol. He means a lot to me and I don't have a clue as to how he feels about me. So that's rather new. I'm still living at my aunt's and that's not too bad. I start Driver's Ed on Tuesday, I have an exam tomorrow and I might hang out with Aaron. I have to work all week too cuz I'm learning to do the bake! I'm so excited about that. That's all I have time for today...woohoo..... 2:02 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Saturday, June 10, 2006 Currently Reading The Da Vinci Code By Dan Brown see related so nothing really new here....i worked at 8 this morning...I'm kinda sad cuz I can't get Father's Day off... But I do work 7-3 so I can still see my daddy. lol...I get to see JB tomorrow...I don;t know what it is but I like him like all over again....oh baby oh baby... 10:15 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Monday, June 05, 2006 So right now I no longer live at my house.....Mom and Sean had the biggest fight and now I'm liveing at my aunt's for a while....I don;t know what's happening but me and my mom are really scared.... 10:39 AM - add eprops - add comments - email it Friday, June 02, 2006 So Sean went in my room and noticed that it was a bit of a mess and turned shit off! what is that?!?! my door was closed! a closed door means DO NOT ENTER but I guess he didn't get that memo. The pool is still not opened and I'm getting pissed about it. Mom wanted to go to her friend Pauline's house so she took me with her and that's where I am right now, typin away hehe omg I love the sound system on this computer!! it's better than my sterio! lol I could use a computer like this in my room. lol that would be so great. So I have to think of a good way to tell my dad that I have to save up yet again for drivers ed. This is slowly killing me. I hate just having money cuz I know its there and then I have to buy something with it until it's totally gone. I'm just like him. Alysha admitted to liking Aaron, he seems to have that effect on ppl. The first day she meets him she likes him, first time I met him I liked him....I see a pattern emerging here...... OH! I never got the placement for Co-Op. I'm so screwed now, I was really hoping on that placement and now I have nothing. I'm gonna ask about Shopper's for a cosmetician position...yes VERY far from science but I need something...maybe Urgent Care....I don't know, I want something great that gives me a chance to get experience with people and science my two favourite things. Ok this is a little too lenghty so I'll stop 10:21 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Friday, June 02, 2006 Currently Listening Us and Them By Shinedown I dare you see related it's been a hot one this week! lol the good news it, the pool is getting hooked up right now so I'll have it for the weekend!!! yay!!!.....so it's benn an eventful week. Aaron and Alysha went swimming together yesterday....I'm not like overly pissed I'm just....kinda jealous cuz then I'm not gonna get all the attention from him anymore. I'll miss that, oh well all good things have to come to an end eventually right? 4:23 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Friday, May 19, 2006 Currently Listening Up! By Shania Twain She's Not Just A Pretty Face see related I'm in a pretty good mood! yay!! I'm going to my dad's tonight and chillin with my sister! hehe AND I get the Port Elgin chat again, exciting. lol I'm not looking forward to thatcuz i've had the same conversation like 5 times now. lol I'm in Anthro btw....so yeah i have nothing else.... 10:55 AM - add eprops - add comments - email it Tuesday, May 16, 2006 alright, today was so great! I went to this police thing and I had so much fun! Then after that was done I did a little shopping, bought Pita's with my mom and went home. I had to get an entire presentation done for tomorrow and I did it! 3 Hours of hard intense work paid off I must say. So I'll see just how long this fucker is. So yeah I learned a lot of stuff today. It makes me wanna be in forensics more and more, all the stuff that was mentioned is like exaclty what I wanna do. It's got my name written all over it!! lol 9:14 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Saturday, May 13, 2006 Currently Listening Sixteen Seasons By Idle Sons Tell Me see related Me and John broke up...I saw this one coming. Oh well it was a good 3 weeks, my longest relationship this year.... Today I'm not so negative which is a good thing. But at this very moment I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. This whole Heidi and Gale situation now involves the poilce, (if you dont know what the situation is ask me i won't pur it in here k? ) so Heidi caled me last night and asked me if I could talk to the police considering I was there when this whole ting happened. I agreed but now I feel bad, I mean I would never lie to them, but giving them all that information could cost me a friend. Gale doesn't know that Heidi asked me, but if she finds out I have no idea what will happen. Last night she couldn't take it anymore so she left, crying and pissed off. Just knowing that I had something to do with that makes feel feel really bad, even thought I know it was the right thing to do. Why does doing the right thing make people feel so guilty? Shouldn't it be the other way around?? But then again, if I didn't then not saying anything would make the feeling even worse. This like whole week has been like right out of a soap opera! DRAMA!!! lol 9:48 AM - add eprops - add comments - email it Friday, May 12, 2006 Currently Listening Don't Cha By Pussy Cat Dolls see related My week has sucked...yet again. I'm starting to get on like everyone's nerves and I pissed Jess off....I don't know exaclty why, I think it's because of the way I asked for the money she owes me back (cuz I really need it.) I don't know. I've been thinking seriously about moving to my dad's, I want to go to a different school and have a fresh start, but I don't wanna leave my mom so if I were to go to a different school I think I'd go to BCI cuz I live in the area. I dont know if that's what I'm doing, but if I do that would be my plan. I need something, I need guidance or something! I don't know!! I have to work with Jess too...that ought to be interesting. You'd think that if I were a mornal perosn I would care why she's pissed at me and try to get her to like me again, but I don;t seem to care, everyone could hate me and it wouldn't affect my life at all. That is like the worst feeling! I don;t want her to hate me she's my bestest friend in the whole wide world! I hate feeling like this, it's so negative, then again that's all I can be anymore. I'm suprised people still talk to me these days. I'm so negative that I like shoot everyone down with me. That's not a healthy environment. 10:56 AM - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it Wednesday, May 10, 2006 Currently Listening Right Here By Staind see related so here's my situation. I think I might be depressed. I am always sad I can never see the bright side of things anymore... and yeah...Nothing ever goes right for me! So many bad things happen to me and I don't understand why. What have I done in a past life to deserve all the shit that happens to me??? I meant trust, that's a huuuuuuuge stretch for me now. I don't trust a soul anymore. Or thats how I feel. Everything I say or anyone just blows u in my face. Actually EVERYTHING blows upin my face. And I'm not looking for sympathy or pity I just need to vent, so please any negatiev comments please keep to yourself. Everytime something good happens to me there is always a really bad thing to follow. No good deed goes unpunished for me! Maybe I shoulod try living at my dad's, I'd be in a new atmosphere and maybe there won't be as much drama. I don;t know! I don't know anything anymore!!! I just feel like crying, just bursting out crying. By the way, if anyone heard about a rumor that I was spreading about Jess and Brandon, I didn't say anything! Why would I make up some ugly lie about my best friend?!?! What kind of person does that?!?!?!?!? 11:03 AM - add eprops - add comments - email it Tuesday, May 09, 2006 Currently Listening Infiltrate-Destroy-Rebuild By Cky Close Yet Far see related ok so it's been a week since i last posted...*sigh* it's been interesting I'll tell you that. I'm grounded off the computer at home for who the fuck knows how long and I'm still failing....ooooooooh well. I miss John like so much, I haven't seen him since last monday....I haven't talked to him in that amount of time either. I'm worried that this relationship isn't going to last cuz he went partying with this Kayla girl. Who is she?? I wanna know!! lol GRRRRRRRRRRR!!! I'm not really a jealous type, but he has just decided to try going out with some other girl before so why is this time any different?? Plus what in the hell makes me sooooooo special from all the ather girls he knows?? I always do this. I get so happy and then question if it's too good to be true, and ask why he chose me. 11:01 AM - add eprops - add comments - email it Tuesday, May 02, 2006 Well last night was soooooooooooooooooooooo much fun!!! lmao. Me and Jess went to the carnival and yeah it was great! We saw frikkin Eric dickeahd!lol and got hit on by carny's....oh well lol but yeah it was pretty good. I went on the Zipper for theFIRST time and it was amazing!!!!!!!!! lol........so yeah I don't have much time to get into details. 11:24 AM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Sunday, April 30, 2006 Currently Listening A Fever You Can't Sweat Out By Panic! At the Disco see related this is shit! I have to tell mydad that I'm failing ALL my classes and risk going to port elgin, cuz I know he's not going to be understanding about this. FUCK there is nothing in life that I can do right is there? This is my last time on MSN for a while and right now I could care less, The only thing I want to do is pass my fucking classes and it will take a miralce to get that accomplished. It's days like this that make me feel so useless and worthless because I can't do anything right. I can't save money for driver's ed, i can't pass any of my classes, I can't make anyone happy. I am never going to be good enough for anyone and it kills me inside because I know that it's true. God i hate life! 5:01 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Saturday, April 29, 2006 Currently Listening Broken By Seether, Amy Lee see related yesterday was sooooo good until i had the port elgin talk and that just pissed me off. I'm not allowed to talk to, or even look at Gabe Rose. Come on! History is NOT going to repeat itself, I'm not like that....anymore. I don;t think he'll believe me until I'm able to proove it. And now today we all have to go on a family trip to the park to walk the dog! Who does that?? I'm 17 I'm not one to walk my dog with my entire family this isn't the Brady Bunch! We're so dysfunctional we'll never be the brady bunch even if we tried. Nothin seems to be going right these days. I'm a fuck up at school ad that's not gonna help me in life, then agan at the rate I'm going by the tie i graduate I'll be dead cuz I won't be able to take the stress or the reality. Or not, i dont even know. So I amnot going to let last time's events affect ,y summer oh no!This summer is going to be a-maz-ing! Noone will come in the way of that including Gabe and his "i'm so in love with ME" attitude. GRR angry!! lol 6:45 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Friday, April 28, 2006 well I don;t have much to say today....it's mine and jess' last supper lol cuz we are dieting!! and we are gonna be HOTT for Port Elgin!! oh yeah!! lmao I'm in a preeeeeeeeeety good mood today. that's all for today...work right after school!! woohoo 11:42 AM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Wednesday, April 26, 2006 Currently Listening Issues By Korn see related so my J situation from sunday. lol John asked me out, JB asked me out, Joey wanted me to have sex with him and I still have a thing for Justin. Freaky!! what a way to start off my entry eh? lol now my situation is cleared up. I'm with John! I'm so happy lol. So there has beena lit of shit going on lately. I'm not getting into detail but the good news it, it seems to be slowly but surely clearing up.....for now. Ok so I got my pay check today and it's $450!! wow! So tomorrow I'm going to cash it and sign up for driver's ed! yess!!!! YaY!! I'm gonna get my G2 just in time for Port Elgin, I think...I hope!! lol So that's all. **92 Dayz!** 7:46 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Friday, April 21, 2006 So I have great news!! I am in fact going back to Port Elgin this year! This is probably my last year going, but I will make it well worth it!...so that it for today. 6:23 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Thursday, April 20, 2006 Currently Listening Up By Great Big Sea Wave Over Wave see related ok so I guess yeah, last night's entry was a little rough and I probably shouldn't have said all that. Honestly, Tia didn't really do anything wrong. I overreacted a little........i guess. I'm better now and I appologized to her. The thing that kinda freaked me out was Justin read last night's entry...which means he must have read my other ones and i didn't know it. Which explains how he knew I liked him before Gale told him...oh well. I have never felt this stupid and pathetic in my life I'll tell you that. Anyways SUBJECT CHANGE!!!! I saw Aaron today, I would have gone to say hi but I looked like shit and yeah. uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh....that's all i have for today. 9:25 PM - 8 eprops - 4 comments - email it Wednesday, April 19, 2006 Currently Listening Lest We Forget: The Best Of By Marilyn Manson Personal Jesus see related Tia is a fucking bitch!!! I hate her so much words can't describe the anger I have for her right now!!! why? you must be asking, well I shall tell you my dear friends! Justin happens to like her (he liked her before I liked him) and she happened to find out. Well first of all after she knew that I liked him she had the nerve to ask me, "are you mad because Justin likes me and not you?" I was soooo pissed. Then today Justin said he was going to a party but he would come and pick me up from work, he didn't! But he did come into work, with her hanging off his shoulder! They obviously knew that I was working and whatever. But not only was she hanging off his shoulder, she was wearing HIS Korn sweater and gave me this smug bitchy look and it pissed me off so much. FUCK!!! I can't get anything nice can I? Everytime I like a guy I lose them to the sluts!!! GRRRR!!! 11:02 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Wednesday, April 19, 2006 Currently Listening See You on the Other Side By Korn Twisted Transistor see related I have had a pretty interesting week so far. Now Justin knows I like him, but I have nooooooooo idea as to how he feels about me! lol I might not ever know! lol. My weekend was ass, yesterday was ass and I also got to find out that my name means Virginal Beauty. Yes I realize I should not be freaking out over this but come on people!!! I could be stuck like this for the rest of my life! lol ok can I sound anymore slutty. I'm done complaining. I have to go to work today after school. woohoo!! lol It's Jess' first night on counter. She's excited, I was too but now I don't understand what it is that makes me want to kill myself everytime I have to go. When I get there I usually have a good time. It's funny when Gale's working cuz she is sooooooooooooooooooo hilarious!! hahahahahaha ok gotta get back to working on religion shtuff. 1:35 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Friday, April 07, 2006 Currently Reading The End of the Rainbow (Hudson) By V.C. Andrews see related well I'm sitting her at school in Antho and I'm pretty pissed because of shit that's happening to Jess. All this shit she has to go through just to try to get accepted into someone's family just saddens me because they don't give her the time of day. She hasn't done anything wrong and no one there will hear her out. It kills me when she's upset saying all the stuff that was either said to her or said about her. If they would just grow up a little maybe she wouldn't feel that way. Like today, I was backing her up and someone misunderstood what I said and I got the "evil eye" actually I got it from like 4 people in the same 5 minutes. That's the most fucked up thing. So yeah, I can't give anymore information because it's all scrambled around in my head and I can't think. So Back to work.......... 11:07 AM - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it Thursday, April 06, 2006 Currently Listening We Belong Together By Mariah Carey see related It's been a while hasn't it? Well I must say, this entry is a really happy one!!! I was talking to my dad and he said that there is something coming up that could "mess up my summer plans a little bit for 2 weeks" Yes my dear friends Port Elgin could be in my near future!! I'm not getting into it and I'm not gonna keep talking about it because I don't wanna jynx it. So no more!! I'll talk about it when we find out for sure. So that's it. lol 9:19 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Wednesday, March 29, 2006 Currently Listening Spiceworld By Spice Girls Too Much see related This week has been an interesting one. Not as rough as last week but not all that much positive either. So last Thursday was when all the British people came. The first night they all stayed at my house and I had sooooooo much fun. lol. They are amazing people. Then I left for Burlington on Friday and I only say "uncle roy" like every day after that cuz he stayed while everyone else went to Sean's parents house. So I didn't see them until last night when I got to say good bye to them. Ya know considering I only knew these people for a total of like 24 hours they really start to grow on you. lol I really like them and they have to go back today and it's sad!! lol I'll be ok tho. So yeah I don't know what to write about right now. 4:33 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Monday, March 20, 2006 Andy's mother is a lying sack of shit! She basically called everyone a liar! She said that Julie was never held hostage and that the cops open fire for no reason! The cops proved her wrong by stating, "She was held in a bathtub at knife point". Prove that bitch! I don't care if she's old I wanna punch the life out of her! She's the reason why Andy was a sick fuck! She's a sick fuck herself! Noone understands how pissed off I am. Fuckin Aaron, all he could say was "What difference does it make now? He's dead" Still! A point needs to be proven that Julie was right this entire time and noone fucking cared! FUCK YOU SYSTEM! PAY MORE ATTENTION TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE INSTEAD OF THE STUPID SHIT THAT HAPPENS TO YOU! I have so much rage right now I can't sit still. 9:25 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Sunday, March 19, 2006 Son of a bitch! That is the only thing I can say right now. This is probably going to be the most serious entry I've ever written. Sean has a nephew named Jared, so I guess he's like my common-law cousin or something. Anyways he got killed last night. His dad (andy) stabbed his girlfriend and her little girl and then went into Jared's room and slit his throat. He then went to Julie(Sean's sister {his ex wife})'s house and told her what he had done. He said to her, "You wanna know what his last words were? 'Daddy please don't hurt me' And then I slit his throat!" He dragged her into the bathroom and was going to kill her too, but he got shot and killed by the cops. Turns out the little girl didn't get too badly hurt and ran to the neighbours to get help. He wanted to make Julie suffer so he killed the only thing that mattered to her. I still can't wrap my mind around this whole thing. I have to be the strong one here, I have to be the one that people can lean on for support. I did it when Nick died and I have to do it again. I must be the strong one! 3:21 PM - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it Tuesday, March 14, 2006 Currently Listening Die Another Day By Madonna see related so me and jb broke up, which doesn't bug all that much. i had my surgery on friday and i look like a chipmunk!!! lol I'm serious it is so swollen...it hurts that basically it...i dont have a lot to say. 12:38 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Wednesday, March 08, 2006 well then, this week has been pretty shitty!!! first of all I got sick yesterday and missed half of today. And on my way to school I got to find out that JB's best friend Katie King is looking for me because the fucker is telling everyeon about me cheating on him with Joey, but saying something about me making out with him for like 4 hours. WTF is that?!?! I hate him so much! He's supposed to be my bf who loves me and all that shit why would he want me to get my ass kicked? He even told me that I shouldn't worry about it and he still wanted to be with me. What is that?!?! 2:40 PM - 6 eprops - 4 comments - email it Saturday, March 04, 2006 Currently Listening Spice By Spice Girls see related not all that much happening...Jess and Angela's party was yesterday and it was alright. I had a lot of laughs omg it was amazing. I told JB about kissing Joey, but now he's closer than ever. What is that? You'd think he'd be more distant but now he's holding on tighter than a pit bull with a pork chop. I'm not used to being so cared for by anyone other than my friends. I'm so confused now. I still like Joey and I have no idea what he thinks of me. But I'm with JB and now I doubt that will even last long. Oh yeah!! he sent me a text yesterday and he told me to behave myself and angela's house! behave myself...jeez and then he made sure I was there by sending jess an text asking if i was there. What is that?!?!¢¾ 12:12 PM - 4 eprops - 3 comments - email it Friday, March 03, 2006 Currently Listening The Curse By Atreyu see related so it;s been a while since i last posted huh? well here's the 411 on my life. JB asked me out last Thursday and I already cheated on him! I can't believe it! I'm the most pathetic person I know. I went to Joey's last night and we had a lot of fun...too much fun now that I think of it. I kissed him...well first he kissed me and I kissed him back...and then I kissed him and he kissed me back and may I say...WOW! It was amazing considering I saw my relationship with JB slipping away. I feel bad....I have to tell him what happened but I don't have it in me... 1:02 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Sunday, February 26, 2006 i cant believe this! sean actually happens to know when I'm on msn just as he walks by! i fucking hatre him so much! i haven't done anything and I'm always getting bitched at by him! i cant fuckin wait to go to work and get away from here. it's not my fault he's a moron who doesnt listen! \no matter how many times I try ot explain to him he doesn't listen because he has to be right! i hate living here! the only resaon I'm here is because my mom and I could never live here, but living here with sean is slowly killing me! that's why everytime I get to go to my dad's I get all excited. But even know I don't get to go that often because I'm working every weekend. And that breaks my heart cuz I wanna see my dad more often than I do. I miss my dad so much and I have to see sean more than I see him. I'd rather stab myself in the face. I wish my mom could just leave him! 11:42 AM - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it Thursday, February 23, 2006 Currently Listening Sixteen Seasons By Idle Sons see related so my mom's bf is still a dick! he took away my msn because he can't stop betraying my mom and going on a chat site. according to him if he can't have chat then I can;t have chat. He's ruining my life! He's starting to control my mom and now he's trying to control me. Well I say fuck him! He doesn't know shit about being a father so he's not goinbg to tell me what to do! I'm keeping msn because my mom said I could but now when I go on the computer he makes sure I'm actually doing my homework. Excuse me! I had nothing to do with him going on chat and now I'm being punished for his being a jack ass! I hate him so much words can't even describe. Proof of him being in control btw is quite siumple. Jess called my yesterday and she heard the answering machine message which is him saying you've reached Sean, Cathy and Caitlin. The phone is in his name and apparently because it's in his name he has to power to disconnect the internet. Uh I don't think so. Just because the phone's in your name doesn't mean you're the one paying for it! yeah my mom pays for it but he has to be a dick and control that. Oh yeah! and my friends aren't allowed to call me when he's sleeping. So no more phone calls period basically, because he goes to bed at different times of the day now. Morning afternoon...never at night cuz he's not a regular human being like the rest of us. jeez! I wish he would just get his call to go in to work and finally leave me alone to do what I can while he's gone. Sometimes I don't blame my sister for leaving. I have times when I wish I could leave, but I would never eave my mom. She means so much to me and I could never hurt her and leave her by herself with that ass hole. 2:34 PM - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it Wednesday, February 15, 2006 Currently Reading From a Buick 8: A Novel By Stephen King see related I am so unbelieveably pissed off right now!!! my mom's bf a dick! all he does is pick on the things i do. I'm doing my homework and when I do that I sometimes go on MSN well he has to make sure I'm doing what I'm supposed to do and picks on me ......again!!! oh well,, what can I do about it?!?1 nothing! well I better do my homework before he has anyhting to say... 11:14 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Monday, February 13, 2006 so nothing seems to be looking up for Katie I wish I could be there for her, but her dad would flip out if he knew that I knew and I talked to her at home. He is such a dick! He thinks he's all high and powerful because his family's in the Mafia. but he's got the idea in his head that his life is like a scene from the Godfather...uhh no! This isn't some 50's Italian gangster movie buddy! He's pretty stupid if you ask me! lol So other than THAT...nothing's new. Oh well. I'm setting my cell phone up and all that jazz on Thursday! I'm excited about that!!! **yay!** Valentine's Day's tomorrow. aww...I haven't had a good Valentine's Day since the one with Aaron. OMG it was soooo cute. He got down on one knee(cheesy but cute) and asked me to be his Valentine and gave me a rose. I almost cried, I couldn't believe it. lol I hope something like that happens to me again sometime in my life. lol ok I'm done. 7:33 PM - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it Saturday, February 11, 2006 i can't believe this is happening again! as if my step-sister hasn't had to go throught enough in the 7 years she been alive. fuck! for those of you don't know what had happened to Katie like 3 years ago I'll fill you in. Her baby sitter had sexually abused her. So she was only like 4 at the time. One of the people who sh thought she could trust does that and it fucked her up. Well it turns out that one of her dad's g/f'skids could be actually having sex with her! We don;t know really know who it is but we have been told that it'snot this Brandon kid...we're starting to think that's who's doing it. I hate seeing Katie go through this again. Another person she loves and trusts is fucking up her life! She's either gunna be the town whore or she'll end up killing herself by the time she's my age! How's that for a thought! fuck! why her?!?! he brother doesn't help either. he beats her up and bullies her and doesn't give 2 shits about her. I honestly wouln't be suprised if he had helped this whle thing happen!! god damn it! now is my questioning god thing again. why is he letting a helpless little girl get abused physically and sexually again?! wtf did she do to deserve this?! 2:26 PM - 6 eprops - 14 comments - email it Friday, February 10, 2006 Currently Listening Boyfriend By Ashlee Simpson see related so it's been like almost a week since i last posted. well i'm just gunna get right t the good stuff. I 'm 17 now!!!! my birthday was yesterday! went and donated blood nd went to Tucker's Marketplace for dinner. i love it!! lol. Frommymom I got money to go towards my driver's ed and from my dad I got his old cell phone. yay I'm getting my connetion to my friends. so all I have to do is set up a new number and everything, so I'm going to that on Thursday after school, cuz I get paid on Wednesday. so yeah that's it for now. 2:19 PM - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it Sunday, February 05, 2006 I can't handle this war between the girls at school. I know the basics of what happened, but I shouldn't have thrown my 2 cents in when I don't fully understand why this is happening. Ya know I'm know for doing stupid stuff like this. I won't hear both sides, I pic the side I hear and I end up losing a friend. I'm not trying to piss anyone off or anything...(**so please don't hate/hurt me I'm innocent**) I just can't hadle seeing everyone hating each other. There's enough hate in the world and hate causes war. War is bad and people die. All because of hate. Just so everyone knows I love EVERYONE!! lol ok I hope I didn't just stick something in the way of this cuz I'm not intending. 4:37 PM - 8 eprops - 5 comments - email it Thursday, February 02, 2006 Dear Friendly People Reading, today is supposed to be me and Aaron day, oh no! change of plans! me Aaron and Mike day! God, I know something wrong is going to happen today I just know it! Now Aaron probably thinks that all I wanna do is bang him, when that's not true. I wanna actually hang out with him today, just Mike, Mike is....special lol. Shit how am I going to get both of them into the house?? Ok well I cant stop thinkin about that cuz noone can come over cuz my mom's in a bitchy mood. I think we might go to the movies tonihgt. I hope so I need some form of entertainment today. Ok just confirmed I'm going to the movies I'll update later 12:20 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Wednesday, February 01, 2006 i'm sick which is making me tired and i have to work.thats it 11:39 AM - add eprops - add comments - email it Tuesday, January 31, 2006 Currently Listening Let It Rain By Amanda Marshall see related alright now I'm at my sister's school. By the way she goes to Nelson in Burlington if anyone didn't know. I'm supposed to just stay here in the library until the end of the day. So I'm gunna be here on the computers for basically 3 hours. Thatt's long time to me. If I get kicked off the computer than I have to go find a book and read it. I can do that, I love reading. Plus if I get kicked off earlier then I could probably get at least half way throught a book. I'm starting to get a cold so I feel really shitty. So that's all I got for now I'll update later. 12:19 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Tuesday, January 31, 2006 Currently Watching Chasing Liberty (Full Screen Edition) see related so nothing happened lately, i'm in Burlington now. I hate bing up s early but my sister had to wake me up "in caseI fall back asleep and forget to go o her school" lol oh wekk. I'm watching Chasing Liberty, it's pretty good. I love the random british guy! 8:37 AM - add eprops - add comments - email it Monday, January 30, 2006 Currently Listening Twisted Transistor By Korn see related Exam number three...done! Yeah! No more exams until June!!! So work was shit! It was, I'm so stressed out and tired. I had to work another 2-10 shift last night and didn't have time to study for my bio exam. I stayed up almost all night to get done my ISU and save that and other stuff so I could print it off today and hand it in. I amaze myself. My ISU was 7 pages and my Imagery was 16. Wow whoda thunk someone like me could type of 16 pages of stuff from her brain?! lmao I sure as hell didn't. So now I can just chillax until Wednesday...work again. 4-10:30 this time. I really don't like in the week shifts cuz all the good people aren't there and the supervisors stay. Oh! get this. I have to work 7-3 Saturday and Sunday, why couln't I just get that his weekend so I'd have study time?! So Steph and Jess had me in their post so I'm adding them in mine..plus some other people lol...not doin favourites if that's what you think. Steph: thanks for the luck I really appreciate it I hope I get to see you still. you mean so much to the group you have no idea how much. Love ya deary! Jess: even thought we've drifted we can still count on each other for a good laugh or someone to talk to. Luv ya Becky: you are always there for one of us when we need you. You are like the glue that holds our entire group together. luv u 2 Niki: you are like the miracle worker. That's what I think. lol love you 12:20 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Saturday, January 28, 2006 Currently Listening I Pray By Amanda Perez <----that's my Canadian Idol song! see related I feel hung over...lol which is funny because I didn't drink anything last night lol. I talked to Mike when I got home from work, I don;t understand him at all lol. Bad thing tho...I told him all this stuff on how I like him and I still like Aaron and all this stuff. I mostly said ie because he told me he was high...(yeah ok) so I just startd saying all this stuff to him just for shits and giggles...(like that?!?! lmao) now I regret it cuz if he acually rmembers it then I'm gonna have to face Aaron when he hears it from Mike. Oh well that's life. I have to work again tonight...2-10 I actually don't mind weekend shift cuz all the good people are working and the supervisors leave at like 5 so I'm only with them for like 3 hours, then the fun begins. lol When Gale or Niki's in charge I always end up having fun cuz they're funny. lol. 10:35 AM - 2 eprops - 2 comments - email it Friday, January 27, 2006 exam number 2....done. So not much has happened to me in the past 24 hours. I went shopping....again and bought some stuff for the next semester. uuuuumm...that's basically it. I have to go to work for 4...eeeewww lol 12:56 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Thursday, January 26, 2006 Exam number one, done! thank God! This is probably the easy one out of all three haha. ok so I'm talking to Mike and all the guy can talk about is sex or fooling around in a park! wtf is that?!!?!?!? who fools around in a park in the middle of winter, i dont! N e Wayz I'm tryin to get out of it by saying that I have to study as much as i can before my Bio exam because I have to get like almost perfect so I need every waking hour to study which is going to be a little hard because i have to work all weekend. I've never done that before so It will be interesting. So i'm goin now cuz I have to baby sit like now. 6:32 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Sunday, January 22, 2006 Last night was the best! I went to the movies with Aaron and Mike (both REALLY hot!) cuz we wanted to just hang out or whatever. So we went and saw Underworld Evolution. Great movie. So we just talked and hung out and stuff, it was amazing. Now I get to find out that I like Mike....a lot, but he's only likes me as a friend (*sarcastic*shocker) It always happens to me, jeeze give me a brak will ya! grr! 7:23 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Saturday, January 21, 2006 Becky has just brought this to my attention...me and her a bunch of other people are going out for canadain idol! yeah we're auditioning at the end of march and we are psyched. I'm hopin to make it far, but you never know right? so wish all of us luck!!!:D:D:D:D 1:51 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Lab exams suck! I know I fucked this one up! oh well I still have another chance to study for my actual exam next week. So I got back from work like an hour ago and I'm pumped. I'm tired...oh yeah and burnt! but I'm good. I burnt my finger on the steeped tea maker. smart huh? aww...there's this guy at work and his name is Greg, and I really really like him, but I dont think anything could happen between us because we work together and that could be weird. But I swear there are like signs flying around us! They way he acts around me and the way I act around him it's...magical...no not magical but on the same lines. He's so cute . OH! for the record I HATE being called a pig murderer! Cassie for some stupid reason can't grasp the fact that when people dissect pigs or anyhting for that matter the specimen is already dead, but noo she has to be right! It pisses me off, she thinks she knows exactly what she's tlaking about when in reality...she has no clue. She actually tried to tell me how my step-mom does her job, wtf is that?!?! I don't have a clue so she obviously doesn't. GRR! It really pisses me off to the point where I either won't talk to her or I'll walk away because I'll end up wanting to really hurt her. So yeah I'm right when it comes to the dissection part thank you very much! I'm the one doing it so I should at least have some idea on whether it's dead or not right? 12:14 AM - add eprops - add comments - email it Thursday, January 19, 2006 Holy shizit! the end of the semester is comin up quick and I've got sooooooooooooooo much to do before it ends in order to pass. I'm screwing up again! I promised I wouldn't do that...well...haha I did once again! Next semester is a new start so I'll work my bum off! I have my first of 4 exams tomorrow...the "practical" in Bio. In english stuff about the lab, like the experiments we did and stuff like that. So that's all for today I think. I'm baby sitting John-David tonight so that oughta be a blast! lol so I'll try to keep ya posted. ? 5:59 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Friday, January 06, 2006 Currently Watching Sex and the City - Season Six, Part 1 see related The last day of the Christmas holidays is upon us. It's actually pretty sad. Oh well I had fun...lots of fun! me and Car went shopping for like 3 days, we took a bus to Hamilton (lol oh man that was great!) I speant way too much money but it was a lot of fun. I never got to watch all the Star Wars movies like I wanted to but I am watching the complete 6th season of Sex and the City. I love that show! It's the best. 3:41 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Tuesday, January 03, 2006 Currently Listening Far Away Pt.1 By Nickelback see related So I had made plans with the one and only Aaron for this Thursday, but the fucker forgot to mention his GF! Yeah that's right and who was the last to kow about her...well of course me! I'm usually the first to know about this shit but not this time. This is just proof that I need to let go. I'm not like totally in love with him or anything but I still have the little hope that one day he'll realize that I'm the one for him or soemthing. I don't even know anymore. He's so flip floppy and now he's screwin everyone on 2 legs so anything like that won't happene between us cuz now he's turning into Richard and will not be another number on his bitch list. Any ways I was listening to some Nickelback song that I downloaded and it reminds me of him so here it is. Far Away This time, This place Misused, Mistakes Too long, Too late Who was I to make you wait Just one chance Just one breath Just in case there's just one left 'Cause you know, you know, you know [CHORUS] That I love you I have loved you all along And I miss you Been far away for far too long I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore On my knees, I'll ask Last chance for one last dance 'Cause with you, I'd withstand All of hell to hold your hand I'd give it all I'd give for us Give anything but I won't give up 'Cause you know, you know, you know [CHORUS] So far away Been far away for far too long So far away Been far away for far too long But you know, you know, you know I wanted I wanted you to stay 'Cause I needed I need to hear you say That I love you I have loved you all along And I forgive you For being away for far too long [2x] So keep breathing 'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore Believe and, Hold on to me and, never let me go [2x] Keep breathing Hold on to me and, never let me go 2:42 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Tuesday, December 27, 2005 wow, it's been a while since I wrote. So things are pretty good, Christmas was good yesterday for boxing day I went to my aunt's and got to see my "cool" cousin Matt. I hadn't seen him in sooooooo long. oh yeah the major one. Me andmy sister did a little bit of drinkin on Christmas and I let her cut my hair. Now it's really short. I'm gunna dye it purple tonight and I can't wait! I'm gunna get it fixed tomorrow before I go shopping. I speant so much money on myself. I got %58 worth of bras and underwear lmao...(from LaSenza what would you expect??) and I bought the Live8 DVD that I wanted I'm pretty happy about that. 5:14 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Thursday, December 15, 2005 So what can I say about today? Well the whole Aaron thing has gotten wierder. Now He wants to know if we're still on for next Friday. I guess that's alright I mean he was the one who asked me, not me asking him. That's a first, but I don't know what to do. He still means so much to me but right now I don't know whether I want to hug him or rip his balls off. He's so like flip floppy, one minute he'll do me the next he's not sure anymore. What is that?! I odn't understand him anymore. So any ways tomorrow might be a snow day, I guess that would be pretty good cuz I need rest. But on the downer side I'm supposed to get my hair cut. Angela was gunna do it for me . I saw what she did to Jessica's hair and I like it so I asked her if she'd be willing to cut my hair. So I guess I'll see if it's happeneing tomorrow or Monday. Everyone is soooooooooooooooooooo confident that tomorrow will be a snow day but I don;t know....yesterday we had a guest speaker come in and talk to us about addiction. omg! his sotry was sooooooo sad and so graphic that you could actually see yourself living like he did. He has a web site if ya wanna chaeck it out it's www.gloryclouds.com it's really really good. He's a really good guy and I don't care what anyone says about him. 8:05 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Tuesday, December 13, 2005 Alright, so this past weekend has been pretty rough! On Friday I actually thought I was gunna kill myself, I did I felt that noone cared about me and all this stuff. All because of that bastard! Why am I so pathetic? I like one guy and that's it? My life falls apart when he finds someone else? It could have been anyone else but her! Why her?! He's only hurting himself by getting back together with her! Plus he told me that after they have sex then he'll be experienced and then we can have sex...haha...I DON'T THINK SO! how stupid does he think I am?!?!? Getting what he wants from her (the experience) and then getting what he wants from me (my virginity) no! It's not gunna be that way! I'm not going to let him take the only thing I have that can NEVER get back. To me, my virginity is like my soul, no I thought he was deserving of it...he's not! Any ways. I had to clean the bathrooms at work yesterday! omg! Guys are soooooooo gross! They just...ugh! Not getting in to that again. I hit some guy over the head with a mop...(accidentally) lol but it was still funny. So I have basically today to do nothing. Cuz I work Tomorrow, babysit Thursday, Work Friday, Rachael's party on Saturday, Work Sunday. wooooohooo...lol 5:28 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Friday, December 09, 2005 GREAT! this week has been really bad. First I break the strap of my purse and spill half a cup of coffee in it, then I get called a "spoiled rotten bitch" and a "two-faced liar". I've been down from that and then I get to find out that my plans for the 23 aren't going to happen now because Aaron is getting back together with that whore! He told me that she was a whore and a bitch and all this bad stuff and now one bad thing happens to her and he's right there for her! Guys piss me off, I hate them all! They are all the same they all know how to treat girls like shit! especially me, I'm too nice and just give people everything they want. I'm so pissed and so sad, I thought he was the one, I thought that we were going to give our virinities to each other but not now. Of course. I don't understand. Why does everyone get their special someone and I end up being the on looker? Why? when will I get the one person who I can have fun with and love and be loved by? God, what a joke. Like things would even work out with Aaron! That's funny, things like that dont happen to girls like me. I really need someone right now. 10:32 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Monday, December 05, 2005 so it's been a while since my last entry. In the past week I've been doing my training for Timmies and that was killer. But I got to pour my first cup of coffee on Friday because it was my first time out front. So now that's what I get to do. Today I went on my Bio field trip and it was amazing! We went to the Science Centre and I got to see all this nifty stuff. Unfortunately I broke the strap of my purse and spilled coffee inside of it too. I almost cried I mean I loved that purse! But I'm fixing it when it dries out. I had 2 large Starbucks coffees and I loved them!! I LOVE Starbucks! The only time I can get it is when I'm in Burlington cuz there's nothing like that here lol. So yeah that was my day. OMG it was amazing! OH yeah! We went to the Imax thing and I saw the Nirvana baby! it was sweet! So yeah that was my day. I'm done typing now. ++ 19 Dayz!!! ++ 6:10 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Monday, November 28, 2005 No need to cry like a baby because I got the job! YAY! I can't believe it. I was totally bummed thinking I didn't get it and then I get a call today. I'm so happy and excited and I don't know! lol I start tomorrow. Training and stuff. My weekend was pretty rough but things got resolved today. So I'm great today! that's all ++Kissez++ 8:15 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Friday, November 25, 2005 ok so it's later! lol I got to find out that Mandy Cook got the job! FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKK! I know there are 2 more chances, if I don't get it I'll cry like a baby lol God! I need this job so bad! I'm calling the minute I get in tonight. Fuck! Why her?!?!?!?! It was because of me she got the fucking job! If I didn't open my big mpouth then she would have never applied. Damn it! I might just go to the mall and hand resumes in everywhere I go. I need a job so bad for Christmas because at this point in time I have $25 and about 5 people to shop for. And if I don't buy them anything that expensive then my sister will bitch! She thinks that I'm selfish because I have no money. I have no money and I'm selfish! How does that work!? I'm trying as hard as I can to get money, but it's not easy. Oh my god this is so overwhelming! I don't know whether I want to cry or punch somone in the face. I can't even begin to tell you how pissed I am at this very moment in time. I was fine until about 10 minutes ago! FUCK! I need a job so bad and I can't apply this weekend because I have to go to my dad's and if I don't then again I'm selfish because I care more about myself then other people. what the fuck is wrong with my family?! They always want me to do stuff for myself and when I do I get yelled at for being selfish. I want to go home! I don't want to got to me next 2 classes. I'm so pissed!!!!!!!!!~!!!!!!! 12:25 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Alright so it's been a while since I wrote in here. WOW almost like a week. N e ways. I still haven't heard anything from Tim's. GRR!! I'm calling after school cuz this is driving me crazy! I need the job so bad. OMG there's only a month left until Christmas. I love Christmas but this year it's really depressing me because it's reminding me of how i need to do all my shopping, to shop i need money, to get money i need a job, to get a job i need my call back! I'm so stressed! There was so much snow last night. I had to walk home in it at 12:10 in the morning! It was soooooooooooo cold! Damn it! I just realized something, when I get home I have to shovel my drive ways (yes 2), the sidewalk in front of my house, and my whole front porch! That's a lot of concrete I have to make visable! GRR I hate that! If I don't write back anymore it's because I had a heart attack doing all of that work! lol So yueah this is only at school, I still have 3 more hours to look forward to. lol So if I don't update you tonight you won;'t get one until probaby sunday cuz my dad's getting my report card tonight and I'm gunna be grounded off the computer and like everythihng else. Oh well that gives me more reasons to stay out of everyone's way and go to the library. Alright I'll stop talking now 12:08 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Monday, November 21, 2005 All's well with the world again. which is good cuz...yeah...lol. Today was my interview at Tim Hortons. I hope I did good. I REALLY REALLY need this job. So yeah thats all for today. 6:40 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Sunday, November 20, 2005 Well here I am reporting to you from World War Three. Not really, but that's what it's like right now. My mom and her boyfriend are fighting and this time it's physical. I've never known her to hit anyone and she's punching and slapping him and actually telling him that she's gunna kill him. Why? Well because he's a lying sack of shit! He's on chat all the time (the reason why my dad left) and apparently he's on a singles site saying that he's looking for someone to love or something like that. I'm only getting this info from what I hear. Here's the bitch of it all...my mom found and read the profile! that's right! she knows and he has nothing to say to her! I couldn't stand being like 10 feet near this whole thing so I came down here. Alright Ihear nothing, I'm so afraid she's gunna really kill him cuz if she does what gunna happen to me?!?! She might end up going to jail and then what?! what happens to the house?! or my stuff?! shit! whay did he have to do this to her?! What if she kills herself?! I'm so scared On the bright saide I got a call back fomr Tim Hortons and I have an interview tomorrow at 5:00. That's amazing! I never thought I'd get even an interview but I proved myself wrong! I can't believe it! So I'll update you ppl tomorrow on the fight and the interview. Wish me luck!! - 8:49 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Saturday, November 19, 2005 This day isn't a good as the rest, me and my sister had a fight, my step- mom's a nosy bitcha dn listens in on my comversations and tells me what she doesn't like to hear me say and my ste- sister's a piain in the ass. omg! first me and Car got in a fight about all this stupid stuff then my step-mom over heard me being mean or whatever and my step - sister just doesnt stop going thorught my stuff or shut up. Luckily for me right now I'm at the library and when I get home everyone will be gone at the movies. Well my dad's at a hockey game and my sister might be home which is alright. But yeah my day sucks so far, I'll update later 1:38 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Thursday, November 17, 2005 Currently Listening So Far Away By Staind see related I'm having a good week. OMG! I'm talking to Aaron and he told me that he was like supposed to have sex with some chick. But he like doesn't want to or something. And then he told me the one thing I was waiting from him to say, he told me and I quote, " too be perfectly honest, if i were to do something like that, you would be the one i'd wanna do stuff with." omg! I've been waiting to hear that since the first time we fooled around! That was like March....when I was in grade 9!!! I've waited almost 2 years for him to say it and he finally realized it and did!. I can not even begin to explain how shocked I am that he told me that. lol so I baby sit tonight and then I can go X-mas shopping. Well that's it for today. 4:53 PM - add eprops - 1 comment - email it Wednesday, November 16, 2005 Currently Listening Sugar We're Going Down By Fall Out Boy see related So today went alright until about 5 minutes ago. I was talking to my ex bf Steven. He did his whole girlfriend speech thing again. Everytime he mentions that it kills. I speant the majority of last year trying to get a relationship going wtih him. He meant so much to me and just like that he decides that this can NEVER happen. I mean I know that you shouldn't rely on the chance of seeing that person again, but they way he said it killed. He actually told me that he cheated on me with 3 other girls. Oh well I'll survive right?! lol I mean there's a lot he doesn't know about me...like for example my pregnacy scare, I know I'm still a virgin but I got really drunk one night and I thought it was a possability because we got pretty hot and heavey and I skipped my period for 2 months, so yeah. But yeah he doesn't know about that. OH YEAH!! He broke up with me on my birthday!! yeah he called my a whore and a skank and all that fun stuff. I guess this worked out for the best cuz the whole age thing was really bugging me. Ok that's stupid because everytime I would talk to him I would forget about the age difference. OMG I miss him so much. That's all for today. 9:31 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Monday, November 14, 2005 I must say, I had a really good day considering it's monday nothing really happened to me, but all and all it was good. I'm looking even harder for a job so I can have money that I can spend on myself and Christmas. lol. So yeah, that's basically it for today. 8:46 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Sunday, November 13, 2005 OMG! The movies last night were amazing! We all met up and were planning to sneak in to see Saw2 cuz none of us were 18. So we decided to get Zathura tickets and sneak into Saw2. Well that never happened and we went to see Zathura. It was pretty good. After the movie we went to Wal-Mart and started taking pictures of like everything it was hilarious. I went with Angela, Tank and Cassie so we all found different things hilarious. Tank was so funny, he's so random so out of nowhere he'd say something like "I can't read" lmfao it was so funny. Then we decided to leave and I walked home. My mom had been working really hard on stuff in the house so she was really tired, but then she woke up with chest pains. I was terrified she was having a heart attack or something, but she's alright now. I went shopping with my mom and we went to Tim Horton's . Then I went over to Rachael's and we went to the mall. We went to that new store San Francisco. The sell like the most random things. Like for example we were looking at these dragon figurines and at the back there were penise hats and whips and stuff. lol So I put the penis hat on and took a picture. LOL I look hilarious. So yeah. Then we went to "The Moose" to meet up with Tim and he bought us food. I got to see that Tyler Stemmlet guy who like hit on me and told me he was hot. Oh my God he's not! lmao I know that sounds mean but it's true. Then I went home and my mom made me dinner!! I couldn't eat anymore so I told her I lost my appetite. So yeah that was my weekend!! lol It was great!!! 6:29 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Saturday, November 12, 2005 Tonight's the movies. Yay! I'm still tryin to figure out a way to get in. LOL Sean told me that I should sneak in, so much for setting a good example for me! lmao. So yeah. I have so much I have to do before then though. My mom's making me help her rake the leaves in out front yeard. ugh! It's sucky! lol oh well it doesn't really bug me all that much. So that's basically it. 3:17 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Friday, November 11, 2005 Currently Listening Nothing Else Matters By Metallica see related So I go to the movies tomorrow. I hope it's good. lol. I went to Dugan's today at lunc and we played Final Fantasy. haha that is a pretty interesting game. lol his band's playing at J's Place tonight. I was gunna go but I decided to stay home. So yeah not much today. 6:11 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Thursday, November 10, 2005 I don't have much to say cuz I'm sick. Yeah I think I'm getting the flu or something cuz I've got all the signs and stuff. I had a whole thing to say today, but I forgot all of it. lol so keep on reading. 6:19 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Wednesday, November 09, 2005 Never mind I got more. Some guy from across the street came over to tell us that our Recycle bin fell over. So what does my mom do? Well she sends me, the sick one out in to pick up all the shit that fell out. I don't have a coat at this moment in time cuz it got soaked. GRRR!!! ok I'm not going to flip out. 7:32 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Wednesday, November 09, 2005 Well I must say, today wasn't all that bad. I got caught in this HUGE rainstorm. It was crazy, like all the streets were flooded and everytime I crossed the street my foot was under water. Like I'm talking a litte more than ankle deep which I know isn't very deep but still for a whole street to have that much water is truely amazing. All my shit got wet so I can;t even do my homework. GRR...I have to pass this year and I HAVE to get my homework done. On a lighter note I'm going to the movies with Angela, Cassie, Tank and Richard on Saturday. We're hopin to see Saw2 cuz I was told it was really good. So yeah, I haven;t gotten my call from Tim Horton's yet, but I know I will. If JB can get a job....anywhere then I can too right?!?!?! I don't know. So yeah that's all for probably the rest of the day. **Let The Good Times Roll** 5:59 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Tuesday, November 08, 2005 Currently Watching Children of the Corn By Peter Horton, Linda Hamilton see related My parents are driving me insane! My dad wants me to get a job and my mom doesn't want me to get a job in a certain place or something. My dad just keeps pushing me. I've been filling out résumés since I was in grade 7. Oh well, sometimes I need to be pushed right?? I'll get over this soon. So I'm talking to Joel for those of you who don't know who I'm talking about, he's the one who called me a piece of ass...in an e-mail!! Geez! N e hoe yeah he like wants me or something. OMG I think I have a date with Richard for this Saturday. :D yay! He's so cute! I hope this weekend rocks! **I'll shall write again...soon** 5:58 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Monday, November 07, 2005 Currently Listening Listen To Your Heart By D.H.T. see related Well it's Monday and it's been pretty good. I applied for a job at Tim Horton's so wish me luck!! I'm keepin 'em crossed. I'm really hopin I get the job, I really need it. So that's all today. I know it's short but hey what can I say?!?1 lol **Keep On Readin** 9:04 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Sunday, November 06, 2005 Not much to say today. I'm still reading my Rainbow Boys book ,I'll be done by tomorrow I know it. Thankfully nothing happened yeserday and nothing is happening today. It's getting really good. I don't want it to end, but I do want to read Midnight Flight and I can't read 2 books at once. So that'sbasically it fr today, unless disaster strikes and I have to write more to get my feelings out. so keep reading 2:36 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Saturday, November 05, 2005 Currently Listening Greatest Hits By Guns N' Roses see related So it's later. I'm happy now, I'm drinkin my bottle of wine my dad gave me like 2 weeks ago. I'm still really upset about the Alberta thing, I can't believe this could happen! I really really hope it doesn't. I went to Licks to get smething to eat and to visit my sister. She's got a pretty cool job. I'm applying at Tim Horton's onMonday. I'm really hoping I get the job. I mean it's not too far from me so that's good. I'm thinkin of makin myself a CD after I print off my resume... 6:59 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Saturday, November 05, 2005 Currently Reading Midnight Flight (Broken Wings) By V.C. Andrews see related Well, as if this week couldn't get any worse...oh wait it did! Yesterday I got to find out that my uncle got offered a job in Alberta! That means that my aunt, uncle and cousins would have to leave in July! That's not far away you know! If I wasn't close to my cousins then I would feel bad for them, but we were more like siblings. We grew up together and went through EVERYTHING together and now they might be leaving. Apparently we can hope that there's a better offer here and they won't have to leave, but now the odds are getting slimmer by the day! Now there's like a 90% chance that they're moving to Alberta I can't handle that! I'll hardly get to see them and I've never really been apart from them for that amount of time and that distance! I feel even worse for them. My cousin Alex has a learning disability and he doesn't adapt well to change so that's gunna be really hard for him. Shit this week sucks balls! the good news is I got new book to read...there's the pic of it ^^^^^. n e ways I'll probably write more a bit later. 12:51 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Friday, November 04, 2005 Hey guyz! Sorry I didn't write an entry yesterday. lol I was busy babysitting. I don't have too much to say. OMG! I scored myself a Nirvana hat today! I'm so happy!! So yeah, that's basically it today. I'm going to Burlington tomorrow and that's exciting. OH YEAH! I'm doing this play about a lesbian coming out to her best friend, but she's also in love with her best friend. It's really dramatic. I can't wait to get a full script written. By the way this is for Drama. lol so yeah that's it for today. Till then **let the good times roll** 5:18 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Wednesday, November 02, 2005 I have a little bit more to add. I don't undersatnd guys at all!! One minute they like you, the next they don't. One minute the "brake up" with you, they next you guys are off havin sex. What is that?!?!? ugh! I don't know. So another thing about today. In my drama class we had to make new groups. So me and my friend Cassie we lookin for someone, but all the good one's were taken. There's this one girl Mandy in my class that no one likes. I mean me and my friend make fun of her a lot. But yesterday I kept thinking about what it was like to be made fun of and how old I am now. I mean that is really immature and there's enough hate in the world why should I be a part of it?! So now she's in our group, and she is nice so I don;t think it will be that bad. I need ideas for a play. I love script making, but the ideas that are getting thrown at me are making it difficult to even try to get a line together. I guess that's something I need to discuss with my group tomorrow. Man, I'm still really pissed about the whole JB thing. I still can't believe it! He frikkin lied to me...to my face! AH!!!!!!! dick head! I'm gunna hurt him, he's getting hurt the next time I see him. Nope can't.....that's hate and violence, plus I can never really be that mean. I'm just pissed now. I'll cheer up tomorrow. I think I baby sit tomorrow....I might wanna check up on that. lol ok I'm really done now. I really hope someone really is reading this and I'm not spilling my guts to like no one. lol 10:14 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it ok so it's Wednesday, that's a little better half way done...yay...so about JB, yeah he's a lying sack of shit! He just made that up so that people would pay attention to him. All that stuff I said yesterday about how we're meant to be...yeah that really changed my mind! I can't believe he lied to me! I thought he wasn't like the others guys I've encountered, but I was wrong they're all the same. Oh and to make me even more pissed my walk home was fine until I came across this group of guys from my school who kept looking at me. So I ignored it and kept walking until some stupid kid started talking to me and asking me questions. He was so immature and I told him that and he got all pissed off. Then I kept ignoring him. Then someone starting throwing something at me so I blew up and screamed at them, I was so pissed it was crazy. If they decide to talk to me I will spaz, I swear. So I'm watching Passions. That has been my favourite Soap Opera ever since I was in the sixth grade. That's my life, my life is an episode of Passions. Only no one gets killed off. Sometimes I take in so much shit that I want to just scream and lose control, but I've trained myself to shut up and take it. I do so much for people and sometimes the out come isn't anything like I wanted. I mean I have helped Aaron do so much and I always hope that maybe he'll see something inside that attrcts him to me, but it's useless. I'm like the Tin Man. Hollow to him. I have wanted for us to be together and it ened up turning into something creepy and he was afraid of me for the longest time. Now I tell him that he is only a friend and that's the only way I'll see him. Nope I still wish that we could be together, not as much as I did in grade 9 but it's pretty hopeful. So yeah, ugh! this is so complicated it kills inside! I just want a good day is that too much to ask? N e ways enjoy today's entry. Happy Hump Day 4:37 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Tuesday, November 01, 2005 Tuesday, Tuesday....it's only Tuesday. This week isn't getting any better. I got to find out today from JB that he might have cancer! I can't believe it, I could lose him before I even get to really know him. I know that people don't see it or believe it, but we are meant to be together. I can feel it deep inside and people think I'm crazy, some people don't even know I feel this strongly for him. I can't say that I love him, because I don't, but this feeling is so strong. The only thing really keeping me from him is the people he hangs around. One girl in particular is what's stopping me. I don't understand why I can't have a guy like him. My life is truely a Soap Opera, so much drama and shit all at once. I'm talking to Brandon, I hope he makes me feel better, he's a really good listener. I know there isn't much he can do, but just to having him to talk to makes me feel good. **God, please don't take JB from us. He has too much going for him, he just doesn't realize it. Please let his test results be negative.** I'll keep you posted. Kissez 4:17 PM - add eprops - add comments - email it Monday, October 31, 2005 Happy Halloween everyone!!! So I tried to look kinda freaky today. Well that was a bust! lol...I put all this make-up on to look like one of the zombies from Dawn Of The Dead and ended up looking like I got mugged. lol Some kid came with a friend or something and they were the toothbrush and Listerine. That's amazing!!! And some little girl dressed up as half angel half devil. She was so cute . So I've decided I want to get a bunch of people and we can be the fruit from the Fruit of the Loom commercial or dress up as Good Charlotte in the I Just Wanna Live video. and then I can be a giant piece of pizza!!! lol yes!!! So tomorrow all the Halloween candy is gunna be on sale and I'm going to get some cuz I like reduces prices lol and I really want chocolate! PMS time ladies!!! yes!!! :-S GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 oh well........so yeah I guess that's all I have to say about that. I'm probably gunna end up writing a thingie every day so you ppl better read it and you MUST like it! I mean it's that life of me, can you think of anything better? lol cant I speak highly of myself anymore?!?!?! lmao I'm funny... N e hoe. till then HAPPY HALLOWEEN 7:47 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it Sunday, October 30, 2005 Alright, so it's later...lol I went to bed shortly after I wrote my blog. So today was my homework devoted day. So that got done, I was desperate to find make-up for my costume idea today so I went to the dollar store and got two types of make-up...the one is like plastic so that was a bitch to get off and the other one is really sticky. Whoa! on Star Choice TV they play music! SWWWEEEETTTT!!!! lol ok that was my excitement for the day. So it's Devil's Night tonight..omg me and my best friend planned tonight like last year. Near my old house there's this tree and 2 bushes that looks like a penis. lol so we were gunna wrap it in saran wrap and spray paint it white. But both of us ened up moving so we can't do it anymore. lol but omg it would look so funny. So yeah that's all I havew to say about today...part 2 of today I mean....oh yeah! Ginger Snaps was a kick ass movie!!!!!!!! Happy Devil's Night 5:42 PM - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it k so this is my first of many entries. Just wanted to say, it's like 12:43AM so actually there really isn't much to say. OMG I'm watching Ginger Snaps. That is a great movie!! lol so yeah. I'll be writing more in depth things later in life. Hugz & Kissez Cait xoxo 12:45 AM - add eprops - add comments - email it